Got Your Back
by Puddycat
Summary: Just a bunch of parental!RoyEd oneshots set throughout the series. Rating raised to T for language.
1. Got Your Back

My apologies for the length of this one; it was originally intended to be only a tad bigger than Ed but apparently it drank its milk...

Anyways, this chapter is set just after the Barry the Chopper episode, when Ed's still a bit fragile and shaky. And 12. What a great adolesence... Heh. This would also be my first (uploaded) venture into the FMA fandom, but by no means my last. Expect to be gradually and subtley spammed from here on. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Put it this way - if I was Hiromu Arakawa, I wouldn't be putting fanfics on the net now, would I?

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The office was unusually silent; the soldiers were working quietly, Alphonse and Winry were playing cards, and Edward was sitting on the window ledge, staring out at the world beyond the clear panes of glass. Roy glanced over at him every so often, a troubled frown appearing on his face each time. To be so still, so quiet, while inside the military building just wasn't like Edward – normally he would have stalked in, gotten his orders for the day, argued with the Lieutenant Colonel and stormed out, not silently sit with his back pressed against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around his legs.

"YES!" a triumphant shout broke the quiet of the office; Winry had jumped up and was pointing one finger at the empty suit of armour opposite. "You owe me a new wrench now!"

"What about all the times I beat you?" Alphonse argued.

"They built up and I earned a consolation prize!"

"You've learnt how to cheat from Brother, haven't you?"

The two continued to bicker for a while, oblivious to the fact that three sets of eyes were watching them; Havoc, Breda and Fuery were staring at them with blank expressions that slowly gave way to amusement. Edward was still staring out the window, a hint of sadness on his features. Roy was watching him with hidden concern and Riza was watching the Lieutenant Colonel, just waiting for him to give her the sign she needed.

"Ed, what d'you think?" Winry sighed eventually, turning towards figure on the window ledge. There was silence for a moment before the boy reacted.

"So long as you don't use it to hit me with," Edward answered, his voice softer than usual, more distant, and his gaze never leaving the view from the window.

Roy glanced at Riza, catching her eye for less than a second. It was all she needed.

"If you go now, it won't be so busy," she said to the young mechanic. "We can walk you through the building, we have an appointment with General Hakuro in the west wing."

"We do?" Havoc blinked.

"What would the General want us?" Fuery asked.

"He didn't say," Riza said absently as she tidied the papers on her desk and stood to wait for the other three soldiers.

"So why didn't you mention it before?" Havoc asked sceptically. Riza shot him a warning glare before replying in her usual clipped tones.

"I knew you'd make excuses or 'accidentally' double-book yourself if I gave you too much notice."

"Coming, Brother?" Alphonse asked the blonde alchemist.

"No, Roy said before Edward had even had the chance to twitch. "There are still some things about the military I need to cover with him."

"Can't it wait?" the blonde in question sighed tiredly.

"No. You've already been in enough trouble, the sooner you know this stuff, the better."

The twelve-year-old glared at him for a moment before returning his gaze to the world outside the military. Roy completely ignored him, choosing instead to flip briefly through a report from a soldier under his command that Edward had never met.

"See you later, Ed," Winry called over her shoulder as they left the office; said boy raised a hand and waived them off, his eyes not leaving the clear glass. The door closed behind them and the office fell into an uneasy silence as Roy continued to flick through papers and Edward was half waiting for Roy to say something, half completely disinterested in anything he might have to say.

Five minutes later and Edward's patience had run out.

"Do you actually have anything to say or can I go?" the boy asked, his voice holding the same tiredness as before.

"You really should work on your patience, Fullmetal, that wasn't very long at all," Roy smirked. Edward shot him a nasty look and stood, walking towards the door.

"Whatever. I'm going."

"No you're not."

"And you're going to make me stay?"

"I won't need to. You still want to know what I've got to say, and your pride won't et you come back and ask later, so you'll stay now."

Edward frowned – since when did that bastard get to know him so well? A smirk played across Roy's features as the diminutive blonde sat down heavily on the couch, glaring at him expectantly.

"I'll make you a deal," the Lieutenant Colonel began. "I'll tell you what you want to know, if you tell me _exactly_ what happened with that serial killer."

"Winry was in trouble, I walked right into a trap, ended up fighting with him until Al and the military turned up and saved our asses, end of story. Your turn."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Fullmetal, I know there was more to it than that. I said I wanted it exactly."

"Like I said, Winry was in trouble and I walked right into a trap."

"What sort of trap?"

"Trying to paint a picture in your head? He was dressed as woman, sitting in a corner and from where I was it looked like they were crying. Just thought they were another victim, 'til they hit me over the head with something."

"Knocked you out?" Roy guessed. He could tell that the boy didn't like talking about things that bothered him, but he wasn't about to let the little blonde keep quiet for ever.

"Yeah," Edward said softly. He began unconsciously fiddling with his gloves and the sleeves of his jacket as he thought back to the events of that day.

"So what happened when you came round?" the raven-haired Lieutenant Colonel asked.

"Bastard had taken my arm off and tied the other one behind me," Edward tried to make it sound as though it hadn't fazed him, but his throat constricted with fear as he recounted what happened. Roy had noticed the boy's voice becoming fainter, so he moved to sit next to Edward on the sofa so that he didn't have to force himself to talk louder than he wanted to. He was careful to keep his gaze focused in front of him because he knew that the young alchemist would stop talking the second he put extra pressure on him, intentionally or not.

"And after that?" Roy prompted, a rarely-heard gentle tone entering his voice. "I take it you transmuted whatever he tied to up with?"

Edward nodded silently, the entire thing flashing in front of his eyes like a horrible dream that he couldn't escape from. Roy noticed that his real hand had begun to shake, but he said nothing – if the wrong words left his mouth then, Edward would lose any trust he had for the Lieutenant Colonel and continue to keep everything inside himself, even if it was too big for him to handle alone.

"Chains. They were chains. I made them into a pole so I could fight him off until I managed to get my arm back."

The boy's voice was barely above a whisper, the fear he had felt at the time more than evident in his voice and body; he was shaking all over, his hands were fiddling with whatever they could find, one leg was constantly bouncing up and down, and his eyes were darting all over the room, never staying fixed on one point for more than a second. Roy watching him carefully through his peripheral vision, onyx eyes still fixed on a spot on the opposite wall, waiting for the boy to speak again.

"I had to drop it," Edward whispered, his voice trembling. "I had to drop the pole so I could get my arm back. He took a swing at me, missed me by less than an inch." The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment. "That was when Al and everyone else turned up."

"No it wasn't," Roy said evenly. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," Edward replied shortly. He stood up sharply and turned to face the door, his back to Roy. "That was it."

"Stop lying to me," the Lieutenant Colonel sighed, also rising to his feet. "What actually happened?"

"I told you, nothing."

"I'm ordering you to tell me, Fullmetal. What the hell happened?"

Roy's small amount of patience reached its limit as Edward ignored his order, instead walking towards the door.

"Tell me now," he growled, only just keeping his temper in check enough so that he didn't snap his gloved fingers.

"Why the hell d'you want to know so badly?" Edward said defensively, his back still to Roy.

"Why the hell do you want to hide it so badly?" Roy shot back. His already severely frayed temper snapped completely and his voice rose as he continued. "You seem to be under the impression that you're the only person who's ever been in a situation like that, that you're the only person who knows what it's like. Open your-"

"I was going to kill him!" Edward shouted suddenly, spinning around to face the Lieutenant Colonel. There were angry tears in his eyes, but he ignored them. "I was scared enough that I was going to kill him, until Al turned up and stopped me! My _eleven-year old_ _brother_ had to stop me from murdering someone! Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The two alchemists stood facing each other in complete silence, Edward shaking from head to toe, anger tinged with fear shining in his golden eyes. Roy stared at him, unable to say anything; of all the things he had been expecting the boy to say, that hadn't been one of them. He hadn't even considered it as a possibility.

"Is that it?" Edward shouted. The tears of anger began flowing freely down his cheeks, but still he ignored them. "Are you just going to stand there? Aren't you going to say anything? Like how I'm in the wrong job if I don't want to do that every day? Like how I should just give up trying to get Al back to normal because I'm not strong enough? If I couldn't even fight off one person, there's no way I can get Al back, is there?"

Without warning, Edward's legs buckled beneath him as all his energy suddenly left him. Roy caught him before his knees had even hit the floor, supporting all of the boy's weight. The _boy's_ weight… That thought hit him hard as he supported the blonde's small, almost too-light form – for all his wisdom and intelligence, for all his courage and determination, Edward was still just a child. A guilt-ridden, yet surprisingly innocent, lost young child. And he reacted to things exactly as a child would; with fear, with self-doubt, with the need for someone else to doubt him to give him the motivation to move on and prove them wrong.

"When was the last time you slept?" Roy asked softly as he led Edward back to the sofa, noticing as he did how worryingly light the boy felt. "Or ate properly, for that matter?"

Edward stayed silent, not meeting Roy's gaze; he was too tired to defend himself, and he didn't have the energy to lie. He had a feeling that Roy had already guessed anyway, so no amount of feeble half-truths would do any good in convincing him otherwise.

"You still need to look after yourself, no matter how back things get," the older alchemist said. He noticed that there were still tears leaving their trails down the blonde's cheeks, but they were no longer of anger; they were of fear, and of shame because of that fear, and from exhaustion from keeping everything inside of himself. "I know you're not looking to die just yet, so start damn well taking care of yourself or next time you won't be able to put up a fight."

Edward shivered at the thought of a next time, but otherwise kept quiet and listened to what Roy was saying – there was something comforting in it, although he'd never admit it out loud.

"Do you know how worried everyone was?" Roy said quietly.

"What?" the blonde looked up in surprise, golden eyes meeting onyx in a silent plea for answers to a thousand more questions in his head.

"When Al said you'd gone missing, everyone started panicking. Especially when Hughes told us about the refrigerated trucks and said there'd been one outside around the time you disappeared.

"Why?" Edward asked. His voice was tired and faint.

"You're a _kid_, in the military. Everyone who knows you is looking out for you, you just need to remember that you can ask for our help and we'll do what we can. We've got your back, you know."

Edward gave a small, tired nod as his eyes began drifting shut. Roy was still speaking, but it seemed his voice had a soothing quality when used quietly and without its usual commanding and official tone.

"…Never mind that-" Roy paused midway through a sentence; the young blonde's breathing was slow and rhythmic, and his fidgeting had ceased. A slight smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, Roy pushed aside strands of golden hair so that he could see the boy's face – he was asleep. "I'm really that boring, huh?"

He smiled and shook his head to himself; Edward had managed to go from distant to frightened to angry to fragile to fast asleep in less than ten minutes. It was going to take him a long time before he had that kid completely figured out… Bringing himself out of his musings, Roy moved off the sofa and manoeuvred the boy so that he was lying down with his head resting on the arm before fetching his coat from the rack and draping it over the blonde. The office was quite cool, and he was in no doubt that the lack of proper sleep and food was already taking its toll on Edward's immune system; it would be much less hassle to look him while he was asleep in the office than it would be if he got sick.

Once he was satisfied that the younger alchemist would be warm enough, Roy swiped the stray tears from the boy's face, stood up straight and returned to the chair behind his desk, continuing the paperwork he had abandoned.

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"Are we just going to stand here all day?" Fuery asked tentatively.

"Yeah," Havoc answered. "Until it's safe to go back to the office."

"How come?"

"Chief wanted to talk to the kid about something Ed wouldn't say in front of us, at a guess."

Havoc glanced at Hawkeye for confirmation; she raised an eyebrow in surprise and nodded.

"Very good," the First Lieutenant said. "How did you work it out?"

"If the General wanted to talk to us, we'd all get memos and there's no way you'd keep them from us just to stop us double-booking on purpose. Which I've never done – you've got Bessie for that. 'Sides, it was too sudden for you, and the timing was just too perfect. That should have given it away to everyone, if nothing else."

"You should be in Investigations," Hawkeye smiled approvingly.

"Nah, if I went there, I'd actually have to do some work."

"Uhh… Bessie?" Fuery was thoroughly confused.

"Hawkeye's gun," Breda grinned. "Named after the only girl Havoc ever got the chance to dump."

"She wasn't the only one!" the tall Lieutenant protested. "Just the one that sticks out most. Complete psycho, nearly killed me a couple of times, not unlike that damn gun of yours."

"I wouldn't have to shoot at anyone if you'd all just do your work," Hawkeye smiled.

"So… Should we go back yet?" Breda asked. He checked his watch. "It's been over twenty minutes already, and the place is still standing.

"They should be done, then," Hawkeye said, nodding to herself.

"Either that, or they've killed each other," Havoc put in. He shrugged when Hawkeye glared at him. "C'mon, admit it, you were thinking it too…"

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They returned to a sight they never expected to see; Mustang was sitting calmly behind his desk _doing paperwork_, and Edward was fast asleep on the couch with the Lieutenant Colonel's coat draped over him, for once looking entirely peaceful.

"Anyone wakes him up and you're charcoal," Roy said, his voice quiet yet entirely deadly.

"Got it, Chief," Havoc grinned, flashing a mock salute before sitting at the large central table and pulling his own pile of paperwork towards him.

"He doesn't look that young when he's awake," Falman observed as he and the others also sat down to restart their work.

"Kinda easy to forget he's just a kid," Fuery agreed.

The soldiers had just settled into their paperwork when the office door opened again, this time to admit Alphonse and Winry. They seemed to be bickering again, although both paused and fell silent at the sight of Edward on the couch.

"Just like Ed to fall asleep in an office," Winry said quietly, rolling her eyes but with a small smile on her face.

"At least he's actually sleeping," the armour next to her added softly. He turned to face the Lieutenant Colonel. "You didn't knock him out, did you?"

"Nope," Mustang held his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

"Don't believe him, we only just got the bump to go down again," Havoc sighed over-dramatically, indicating with one hand how big the "bump" on Edward's head was.

Winry giggled as Alphonse shook his head and laughed softly.

Gradually the conversation grew more and more ridiculous, with much quiet and muted laughter coming from the conscious people in the room. Every so often someone would glance over at Edward's sleeping form and usually roll their eyes, but never without a smile.

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As Edward began to come out of his exhaustion-induced nap, he listened to the chat and the laughter around him; he could recognise every voice in the room, and all of them sounded happy and calm. He smiled as he slipped into a real sleep – for the first time in a long while, he felt safe.

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All together now... Aww! How's that for a first attempt at giving the warm and fuzzies? I know the ending was kinda rushed, but I figured I'd better stop it when it reached 8 pages on MS Word... Alas, it appears I just seem to go on. And on. And on...


	2. The Damage is Done

...See, I am still alive. I'm just slightly hidden behind other freaky stuff at the minute, but I am still alive and still very much into this fic. So now on with the story.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned FMA. I really do, but alas... -sobs quietly-

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A sharp knock at the door distracted Roy from his thoughts, said door opening as soon as the person on the other side was sure they had given him adequate warning.

"Alphonse is here, Sir," Hawkeye informed him from the doorway.

"Send him in," came the reply. The Lieutenant nodded and opened the door fully to reveal a large suit of armour, which she then ushered in and closed the door behind.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Alphonse asked nervously.

"It's about your brother," Roy began seriously, confirming the younger Elric's fears; he had noticed the boy's pale complexion, the dark circles under his eyes and the obvious weariness of the way he moved. "When was the last time he slept?"

"On the train here..."

"Properly, I mean."

Alphonse stayed silent; Edward pretended to sleep at night, but he could tell the blonde was keeping himself awake on purpose. The only time recently he had slept properly had been while they were travelling, when it was virtually impossible to avoid being continually jolted awake.

"I take it he hasn't slept recently, then," Roy sighed; his young charge was turning out to be far more trouble than he had bargained for.

"He's only actually been asleep on the train, or when he's been completely exhausted," Alphonse said quietly. He felt like he was betraying his brother, but Edward wasn't taking care of himself and he was worried. Besides, even if Edward couldn't (or wouldn't) see it, Alphonse knew that the Colonel was looking out for both of them, and already helped them as much as he could without generating suspicions about the brothers' intentions by finding leads for them while they were away so that they could both rest while they were back.

"What about drugging?" Roy asked suddenly.

"Sorry?" Alphonse looked up in surprise.

"Would it help if we drugged him?" the older alchemist asked, his face and voice deadly serious.

"I'm not sure..."

"By the sound of it, that's the only way he'll sleep. It's a last resort, but if he won't sleep then the next time you two get into one of your 'situations' he'll be in serious trouble."

He was right; the last time Edward had been forced to fight, Alphonse noticed that his reactions were slower and his movements more sluggish than usual – he had very nearly intervened, before the adrenaline kicked in and Edward's trademark speed and sharpness returned.

"So is it a deal then?" Roy asked. "You try everything you can think of to make him sleep, and if that doesn't work we drug him?"

"I've already tried," the armour admitted sadly. "Nothing worked."

"So we drug him..."

---

Alphonse approached the dorms with trepidation, the guilt of betraying his brother's trust and apprehension about the results twisting around his soul like enraged snakes, drawing his attention from his surroundings so much so that when he automatically stopped in front of the door to their dorm he jumped slightly in surprise, not remembering how he got there.

"Brother?" the armour called softly as he pushed the door open. Edward looked up from his position on the bed, the alchemy book in his hands losing his attention instantly at the tone of his brother's voice. "The Colonel wants to see you."

"No," Edward answered with a snort. "The Colonel wants to get a rise out of me to give his ego a workout while he tells me to stop being childish. I'm not going."

"I think you should. It isn't a great idea to annoy the 'higher ups', especially on purpose..."

Edward regarded him suspiciously for a moment, before sighing in defeat and rising from the bed.

"I guess you're right..."

---

"You wanted to see me?" Edward asked shortly, walking straight into Roy's office without bothering to knock.

"Yes, there's something I'm a little curious about, and it seems you're the only one with the answer," Roy replied calmly, closing the door behind the blonde as his other hand checked the syringe. Edward tapped his foot irritably, noticing Roy fiddle with something in his pocket but deciding that he couldn't be bothered asking, arguing, and then leaving without an answer anyway.

"What?"

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

The boy paled and froze in place, half of his mind trying to produce an appropriate response while the other half raced through suggestions and ideas for how he could have known; it couldn't have been Alphonse, he would never betray him like that; he was too tense and alert when he handed in his report for any hint of tiredness to show thought; he had (or so he thought) successfully blamed his exhaustion on a combination of travel and 'having to sort out other peoples' mess' when Alphonse had made him check in over the phone during their last mission-

"If you're trying to figure out how I know, Al told me," Roy's voice interrupted his thoughts. So it _was_ his brother... "I already had my suspicions, he just confirmed them."

"He's seen me sleeping," Edward croaked, shaking his head and backing away as he forced his voice to work.

"He's seen you _pretend_ to sleep; he knows you far too well for that," the Colonel said evenly, priming the syringe in his pocket. The boy's golden eyes flicked down to the Flame Alchemist's concealed hand and his mind clicked to what Roy was planning.

"No..." he whispered hoarsely, backing away still further.

"Do you have any idea how worried he is about you? Being slowed down by exhaustion is dangerous at the best of times, never mind the kind of situations you get yourself into, and your tendency to jump in and fight the second someone says or does the wrong thing."

"I can't..."

Edward's back hit a wall, hands feverishly feeling for something to help him, mind paralysed with fear and eyes still fixed on the pocket of the approaching alchemist as though he could see the syringe hidden within.

"Why are you so determined to avoid it?" Roy asked, genuinely curious, pausing for a moment to give the boy a chance to answer.

The shrill ring of the office telephone pierced through the silence left by Edward's reluctance to answer; Roy's attention flickered towards it for less than a second, and the blonde's fight-or-flight mechanism – already in overdrive – chose flight, sending him sprinting past the Flame Alchemist and towards the door.

Without even bothering to try and grab the handle in his current state, Edward automatically brought his hands together and threw them out in front of him, the force with which they hit the door jarring his bones and raw nerves. A bright blue flash and the resistance of the door vanished, leaving him free to run through, towards the main office door that was now in sight.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Havoc appeared in front of him and managed to get a good grip on him; the force Edward was applying to get away meant that almost immediately he had to resort to wrapping both arms around the boy as tightly as possible to keep him in place. Less that a second later Roy joined him, however this just made him struggle more and push forwards despite two grown men trying to restrain him.

"Hawkeye!" Roy caught her attention instantly. "Left pocket!"

Without questioning him, she plunged her hand into his pocket and withdrew the syringe, knowing from her briefing earlier what he wanted her to do with it. Both men momentarily tightened their grip on the boy to keep him remotely still while Hawkeye pushed the needle into the exposed skin at the base of his neck and released the contents into Edward's bloodstream. The blonde alchemist froze when he felt the tip of the needle break into his skin, fear paralysing him for a moment, until it was removed and his struggles resumed more violently than before as panic took him over.

"Don't let him go!" Roy hissed to Havoc through gritted teeth, the strain Edward's efforts to escape were putting on him heard clearly in his voice.

Edward felt his limbs growing heavier, his vision tunnelling until he could barely see the room in front of him, yet still he struggled. He couldn't let anyone know what kept him awake, especially not the Colonel – he _had_ to get away from there before they found out, before they realised just how weak the supposedly powerful Fullmetal Alchemist was, and before they discovered just how unstable he was.

He had to get out and find a way to stop the effects of the drug.

He had to get out...

Had to...

The blonde's legs buckled as he was finally pulled unconscious, the two soldiers taking his weight between them and carrying him back into the Colonel's office where they rested him on the sofa. Havoc stayed in the office for a moment, a look of concern crossing his face.

"Chief?" he began. Roy looked up from where he had been regarding the blonde with a small frown. "You should probably keep an eye on him; it's not normal for anyone to fight against it that much, he's probably got a damn good reason and he's just not telling us."

"I know," Roy answered in a low voice. "I was thinking the same thing."

As Havoc left the office, the raven-haired alchemist repaired the door and returned to his desk, trying to reason it out. He had assumed that Edward was just trying to punish himself for something, but there was no way the boy would take it that far, and now that he thought about it, it didn't make sense for him to do that to himself when it could endanger his chances of returning Alphonse's body. Yes, the boy was harsh on himself and insisted on shouldering their burdens by himself, but that was his way of making sure he pushed forwards to achieve his goal. In some ways, it was admirable how much he pushed himself. In others, it was plain stupid. Either way, Edward knew the importance of being on form if he wanted the best chance, so that couldn't be the reason – no matter how much he wanted to punish himself, Alphonse would always come first.

He had been trying to puzzle it out for over an hour when the smallest of movements caught his eye; the boy's flesh hand had tightened into a ball and the knuckles on it had paled with the force, and his entire body was shaking. Roy immediately went over to him, checking him carefully. Distress was plain to see on his young features, and the feeling of needing to wake up was coming off the boy in waves.

"Havoc," Roy called, opening the door of his office.

"Yeah?" the Lieutenant answered.

"I thought you said this induced dreamless sleep."

"It does," Havoc replied, coming to stand beside the Colonel, his gaze drawn to the blonde on the sofa as he registered the fear and upset on his face.

"Then explain that."

"I've never seen it before. I've heard about one or two really extreme cases where _something_ got through, but no-one's sure what they were. They were so bad that the patients wouldn't talk about them afterwards."

"Well that's useful. Is there a –"

Roy's voice caught in his throat the second he realised what Edward had done, both men sprinting over to him at the same time. Havoc pulled his real arm away from him and lifted it high as Roy pulled the boy up so he was sitting and wrenched the automail down away from the scarlet wounds, again wrapping his arms around the boy to keep him still, this time jamming the steel prosthetic between himself and Edward. Bright red blood dripped down from his forearm where he had dragged the automail across, apparently trying to wake himself.

"The idiot!" Havoc hissed. "Hawkeye, get the first aid kit!"

"Already done," she answered, entering the room with the tell-tale green box in her hands.

At his request she took Havoc's place, holding Edward's arm aloft as he pressed a pad of gauze on and began bandaging it – he could clean the wound later, when he had calmed down. Now, however... Roy was struggling to stop himself being pushed away by the automail, and by the pain coursing through his chest his efforts were probably being repaid with a couple of bruised ribs. Ignoring the ache, he increased the pressure, gripping his hands together around Edward and holding him as tightly as possible.

"I'm sorry..." a soft whisper reached his ears. Again, quieter: "I'm sorry..."

It suddenly hit Roy why Edward had been so scared of being forced into sleep, why he kept himself awake – because every time he closed his eyes he saw his mother, and relived the night of the transmutation. How could he have been so stupid? How could he not have realised that was behind it all? It was a trauma that only Edward carried, so even Alphonse couldn't truly know the extent it reached as most of his memories of that night had been wiped out.

"Damn it!" he hissed, cursing himself for his idiocy – this was only going to make it _worse_.

"Sir?" Hawkeye questioned, both her and Havoc watching him carefully, the bandage now secured on his arm.

"How long until this wears off?"

"It's a short-span one, so it shouldn't be too long," Havoc answered. "About another hour at the most."

"I can handle him for that long. You two man the office, I'll stay here."

Both soldiers nodded uneasily and left for the main office, shutting the door quietly behind them. Roy looked down at the blonde boy as he got lost in thought again. Of course it would still haunt him, it was obvious now he thought about it, but for it to be strong enough to break through a drug as powerful as that... He couldn't even begin to imagine what Edward had gone through that night, and if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't want to.

His attention was drawn back to the present as the tremors in the boy became sharper and more defined, his small form now wracked with silent sobs, tears staining his face as a deep ache took over his features. For the first time since they had met, Roy saw just how deep Edward's pain ran; he wondered how the boy had coped even this long, not only with the memories of the transmutation, but from events that had transpired since, and how he was possibly able to hide all of that from everyone else, even his own brother.

_Because he's scared_, a voice in the back of his head answered. _He's scared that he's too weak, and he's scared of facing up to it. He's scared that if he admits how much it hurts, even to himself, he won't be able to move forwards. He's scared of what he's capable of, and he's scared of who he's become._

Roy's dark eyes widened at the thought – he knew that feeling all too well after Ishbal, but Edward... He knew it on a far more personal level than anyone, and that, coupled with his acute – although often masked – sensitivity, could only ever be a bad thing.

The tremors began to lessen and eventually subside, the tears drying on his face and leaving no trace. Roy released the boy and laid him back down, sitting himself on the edge of the coffee table as he waited for him to wake.

Edward sat up slowly barely ten minutes later, leaning forwards and letting his head drop into his hands as he controlled his breathing to calm himself. Roy watched him silently, unsure of what he should do – the boy was volatile at the best of times, but after he had put him through _that_... Roy wasn't sure he wanted to find out how he was going to act. Another few minutes of silence passed before Roy spoke.

"Ed..." he began. He had barely opened his mouth to continue when the boy stood silently and left the room, avoiding eye contact with Havoc and Hawkeye as he passed through the outer office, not even acknowledging Havoc's attempt to apologise. Roy walked over to his door and watched him leave, the main door shutting silently behind him.

_That was a mistake_...

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Okay, not all fluffy-parental, but I really want to shove this one in here 'cause I've got a chain of these and they are about their relationship, so... Yeah, I'm just making excuses now. I shall wander away now, and sit under my rock hoping for someone to tell me what they thought of it. Until next time, my pretties...


	3. Aftermath part 1

This continues on from the last chapter, and is basically the aftermath of what they did. This and the next chapter are meant to be one big one, but it was a little too big when I finished it. 18 pages! 18 friggin' pages! So yeah, next chapter's the second half of what is essentially one chapter.

Disclaimer - No, I'm not Hiromu Arakawa, however much I would like to be.

----

"_No-one's_ seen him in three days?" Roy asked incredulously. "How do we know he hasn't just left East City completely?"

"Alphonse would know if he had," Hawkeye replied evenly. "And unlike his brother, _he_ would tell us."

"Does Al have any idea where he could be?"

"He has an idea, but he said it would be better to let Edward have his space for a while."

Roy sighed irritably as Hawkeye nearly resigned herself to listening to the oncoming rant. Nearly.

"He needs to learn-"

"With all due respect, Sir," she interrupted firmly. "Despite the position he holds and the way he acts most of the time, the fact remains that he is still a child. You can't always expect the responses of an adult from a twelve-year-old, it won't and shouldn't happen."

"She's right, chief," Havoc interjected. "There's no way any kid his age could know how to handle themselves in the situation he's in. Just give him a bit to work it out, he'll be back before too long."

The Colonel sat back uneasily; somewhere in his mind he knew they were right, but he didn't like the idea of someone under his command being missing. His conscience was already heavily weighed down, a portion of that burden already belonging to Edward and the fact that it was the Flame Alchemist himself who got him involved with the military at such a young age, he didn't need the boy getting hurt while no-one knew where he was on top of everything else.

"He'll be fine, Sir," Hawkeye said calmly as she got on with her work and shot Mustang a pointed look.

---

Two days later and he was walking down the main street through Central on the way to the dorms; just that morning he had gotten a call from Alphonse telling him his brother had decided to show up again. It wasn't until the afternoon, with most of the paperwork done and Hawkeye accompanying him to make sure he wasn't just wasting time, that he got an opportunity to head down there himself. As they reached the building they decided to take the back route that barely anyone knew of; it lead down a corridor that opened at various points to a small courtyard that remained unseen by the rest of the dormitory building and its occupants. The steps from the walkway to the courtyard proper always caught his eye, the intricate designs on the railings always reminding him somewhat of a complex array that had never quite been finished. But this time they caught his eye for a different reason.

On the far side of the courtyard, perched on one of the sets of steps, sat the Elric brothers. Yet as he stopped to look over at them properly, Roy noticed something odd; Edward looked for all the world like he was trying to hide away within himself, like he no longer wanted the world to know of his existence. He was huddled into himself slightly, his arms wrapped around his body as he leant into Alphonse and rested his head against him, seeming to take comfort in the cool metal of his brother's shell. At first glance Roy thought he was asleep, until the blonde shook his head slightly and appeared to say something to Alphonse. A wince that Roy knew didn't come from any physical pain swept through Edward's body before he drew his knees up into his chest and shuffled even closer to the suit of armour beside him. The Flame Alchemist and his Second Lieutenant watched in still silence, neither wanting to be the first to move in case either brother noticed them and broke off whatever discussion they were having.

"We should probably leave them for today," Hawkeye said softly. "Alphonse will bring him in to see us soon enough."

"You're probably right," Roy answered quietly, but making no move to turn from their arched viewpoint. He had seen the brothers like that only once before, but even then they hadn't seemed as close as they did now. The first time they had known they were being watched, and both had kept some walls up, but now they were both completely exposed and Roy could still only see just below the surface of their relationship. He had known they were close, but he never expected Edward to reveal that much vulnerability to anyone, even Alphonse; explaining his weakness to his brother was one thing, but the boy was openly showing it and silently asking for comfort from him, and Roy didn't know what to think of it.

"Come on, Sir."

"Did we do that to him?" the Flame Alchemist asked as they turned to leave. "When he ended up stuck in that nightmare, did we break him?"

"I shouldn't think so, Sir," Hawkeye tried to reassure him. "More than likely it just brought home to him how much he runs away from things."

"He's doing everything he can to get Al's body back; I'd hardly call that 'running away'."

"Haven't you noticed how he always changes the subject when someone asks about any detail of what happened that night, or any other time that something's gone badly wrong? It's subtle, but he always avoids dealing with it and letting other people in. He's always running away from things he's scared to admit frighten him."

Roy was silent for a moment; he had noticed, and he knew that Edward held more than his share of fears and shames, but even after seeing him with no barriers to protect him, he still didn't want to believe that the boy would let any of them become anything but an obstacle he had to rise against. But hadn't he risen far enough already?

Before he knew it, they were back at HQ, and Roy was willing the day to transform into the next one.

---

Eventually it did become tomorrow, yet it still took until late afternoon before Alphonse managed to force his brother into making an appearance. The boy's hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he seemed likely to either run or shatter at any moment, but the steely glint in his eyes indicated that he would do neither. For a time, at least; there was something he wanted first.

"You've been missing for such a _short_ time, it's almost like you were never gone," Roy quipped easily, trying to act normally until Edward would let Roy talk to him properly.

"I didn't come here to take a bait," Edward answered venomously. The Colonel let the facade drop, his onyx eyes locking solidly onto Edward's amber ones.

"What did you come here for?"

"I'm going into Kipp Town."

The centre of the current, relatively small-scale civil war in the west of Amestris; it was a notorious danger-zone for anyone associated with the military, so much so that access was restricted to those with high-level passes authorised by someone of Roy's rank or higher.

"So you need a pass from me."

"I _want_ a pass."

"You think you could get in without one?"

"You think I couldn't?"

Roy studied the younger alchemist for a second, noting that not only could he probably get in to the violent town without a pass if he wanted to, but that the boy was starting to play the game of the military. But how far was he willing to play it?

"I'm curious," the Flame began idly. "What would you do if I said no?"

"It wouldn't slow me down," Edward answered coolly.

"What if someone caught you in there? It's considered a felony to be in there without authorisation, you know."

"Then you sent me in. I asked for a pass, but you said I wouldn't be noticed and there was no point doing the paperwork if you didn't need to."

The boy was willing to land him in it if he refused? _Damn_...

"Nice excuse, but do you really think they'd believe a new, underage State Alchemist over a longer-serving Colonel?"

"You might be a higher rank, but I make them look better. Who do you think they'll side with?"

Roy had to admit, the boy really had thought about how to work a refusal in his favour. He had also successfully guessed how the military worked, and seemed more than willing to use the corrupted system against his superior if he needed to. Quite frankly, the kid was beginning to worry him a bit.

"Sir, please," Alphonse interjected quietly from the corner. "We need to know if the lead there is genuine or not, and the only way to really do that is with a pass to go in."

"How can I be sure you won't just 'conveniently' disappear?" Roy asked smoothly, directing the question towards the blonde but not expecting an answer from him, or at least not a serious one.

"I'm staying here," the suit of armour said calmly – evidently the brothers had already discussed it, as Edward didn't protest the idea that would normally have had him raging. "I'd stand out too much, it would be impossible to move around easily without people noticing. They're probably wary enough as it is, without me walking around out there too."

From the corner of his eye he saw Edward wince slightly at Alphonse's words, but everyone knew they were the truth. It was also well-known that Edward would never leave his brother unless he had to, and even then he wouldn't stay away long.

"Okay then," Roy agreed quietly after a moment's deliberation. "The pass will be ready tomorrow, but you've only got three weeks to report back here, any later then that and I declare you AWOL, got it?"

"Yes, Sir," Edward answered mockingly before he left with Alphonse close behind.

It was only after they had gone that Roy realised Alphonse hadn't discouraged his brother from threatening to turn the military against the Flame Alchemist.

---

"Remember, Fullmetal," Roy warned the next morning. "Three weeks. If you're even so much as half a day late, I'm calling it."

"You got it," the boy rolled his eyes and tapped his foot as he took the pass, obviously impatient to leave and start travelling. The journey should take around five days either way, giving him about eleven days to find out what he needed. If he took longer, he'd just fabricate a family he had taken the time to save.

"Go on, then," Roy dismissed him flippantly, reaching for some paperwork that probably wouldn't get done before the boy returned.

Out in the corridor Hawkeye saw the diminutive alchemist walking quickly in her direction, his hands still buried in his pockets and his gaze directed downwards, but he looked away even more as they passed.

"Don't push us away, Edward," she called quietly over her shoulder, smiling to herself when she heard his footsteps pause. "There are only a handful of people who can and will help you when you need it; if you push us all away after one mistake, what will you do when that time comes?"

There was a moment's silence before the boy began walking again, but from that pause she could tell he was at least considering what she had said and that was enough for her to continue on her way as well.

---

It was late on Edward's tenth day in Kipp Town; he would have to leave the next morning, but he still hadn't found what he was looking for so he wasn't in the best of moods. A practitioner of the West's branch of alchemy had pointed him in the direction of an old warehouse, but had sent him with a warning that it was often attacked by the military, who believed that it housed members of the various factions. Edward had gone with a forced smile and a promise to be careful, even though going to the warehouse in the first place was the total opposite of that, and was planning to take as little time as possible to make sure he left on time.

When he reached the warehouse, however, everyone else seemed to have other ideas.

"How did you get in the town?"

"How did you get in _here_?"

"Why did you come here?"

"What business does a child have being here?"

There seemed to be no end to the questions, and no gap big enough for Edward to start speaking without someone else talking over the top of him. After about five minutes of being questioned, prodded and pushed, his temper finally broke.

"_Would you all just shut up already_?" he snapped, loud enough for everyone to hear. They fell silent at once, staring at him with something akin to shock in their eyes. "I came because I need information on the Philosopher's Stone and I was told someone here might know something. If that's the case I need to ask them about it, if no-one knows anything about it then just tell me so I can go."

"So you're here about _that_," a voice from the back said darkly. The people in front parted so that Edward could see who was talking; a man, younger than he had expected but still with greying hair, was standing by a pile of crates with a haunted look colouring his features.

"I take it you do know something, then?"

"Tell me, what would a kid want with that thing?"

"That's none of your business," Edward replied sharply. He knew it was probably the worst thing he could have said just then, but in his current bad mood he really didn't care. To his surprise, the man began laughing. "What?"

"You want it to fix something that can't be done with normal alchemy, don't you, Boy? If it was anything else you would have tried to hide it with a story, but your bluntness tells me it's for an honest reason."

"So do you know anything or not?"

"There were rumours, years ago, that we commanded a Stone. Indeed, there was a Stone here at that time, but it was a pathetic imitation, barely more than coloured glass. Even that was enough to cause the military to attack under the pretences that we might try to use it against them, but no-one ever hears that version. Everyone is told that we were planning to attack the Fuhrer, and nobody questions the idea."

"There's never been a genuine Stone here?"

"Not that I've heard. The fake one wasn't even good enough to be mistaken as the real thing – it rebounded on the first use, killed the person it reacted on. The military just wanted an excuse for war, nothing more."

"Do you know who brought the fake here?" Edward asked, trying to find another lead before he had to leave.

"No. The only person who knew how it came here was the one who tried to use it, and he's dead now. That secret's been lost ever since."

The boy was quiet for a moment, thinking over everything he had just been told. There was a possibility the man was lying, but he seemed genuinely remorseful about the person he said had died using it. Maybe there was truth to it?

"Okay. Tha-"

An explosion ripped through the warehouse and the walls crumbled as gunfire began to sound outside.

---

"Sir, we've had a report that fighting broke out in Kipp Town last night," Hawkeye said stiffly as she entered the office.

"How bad was it?" her superior asked.

"Numerous civilians were killed on the street, and a warehouse believed to be the base for the resistance was wiped off the map completely, not even a single wall was left standing. Apparently it went on for hours, and the soldiers stationed there began shooting at anyone not in military uniform until their C.O.s intervened and ordered them to stop the fighting."

Roy froze for a moment; it was well-known that Edward didn't wear the starched blue uniform, and it was also known that he was the kind of person to run right into the middle of a battle to try and stop it. If the soldiers were shooting at anyone out without a uniform on... He regained his composure after a moment, and looked Hawkeye straight in the eye.

"He's not the kind of person to let himself get hurt like that," he began, the sureness in his voice masking his deeper uncertainty. "But he's also not the kind of person to let us know he's okay. We probably won't hear from him any time soon." _If ever_... He added silently.

"So what do we tell everyone else?"

"Exactly what happened."

"What about Alphonse?"

"The same. But make sure he stays in East City – I don't want him going out there too, especially as we don't know details yet."

---

Two weeks later and the small blonde still hadn't returned. Everyone was getting more worried with each minute that passed, Alphonse so much so that he no longer fretted aloud, instead spending most of the day sitting completely still in the corner of the office. Roy had even resorted to contacting Hughes in Central and putting him on alert for any news regarding the fighting in Kipp Town or the young alchemist, yet so far there had been no new revelations. The Flame had spent over three hours staring at a piece of paper in front of him that needed his signature without once directing his pen towards it; the shrill ring of the telephone snapped him out of his trance immediately, and he answered it without hesitation.

"Sir, we have a call directed to you by Central, it's coming in from Kipp Town," the operator told him, her tone of voice half-bored, half eager to get a chance to speak to the notorious charmer.

"Patch it through," he replied instantly.

"Fine," the operator sighed, clearly severely disappointed with the womanising Colonel.

"This is Colonel Mustang," he said the moment the interference cleared.

"Was the Fullmetal Alchemist in Kipp Town recently?" the voice on the other end asked, sounding like he needed confirmation quickly.

"Yes. Why?"

"Pretty short kid with blonde hair, has it in a braid? Came here asking about the Philosopher's Stone?"

"Yes..."

"I think he was in the warehouse when it came down."

"_What_? Who are you? And how do you know?"

"I was in there too, a lot of us were. Before, when he was asking us about the Stone it looked like he had one of your pocket watches with him but I wasn't sure. Then just after it came down I saw that light you get from alchemy, but it was weak. Haven't seen or heard anything of him since, figured you'd need to know but he didn't give his name so it took a while to find out who he was."

"Did you find a body?"

"We haven't looked properly yet, but we went back after we got out and no-one answered when we called for survivors. If he is alive, he's doing a damn good job of hiding it and the soldiers are still shooting at people without a uniform, so if he's not careful..."

"I know. Thank you."

The line went dead and Roy placed the receiver back on the hook, pausing for a moment; if that man had been in the warehouse, then he had probably been a member of a resistance group targeted by the military. Yet he had still gone to the trouble of finding out who Edward and his superior were in order to get information about the blonde to Roy. Was the small town being attacked for the right reason?

"Who was that, Chief?" Havoc asked curiously. Roy cast a cursory glance at Alphonse before he answered.

"Someone in Kipp Town," he replied quietly. "They said they saw Ed in the warehouse before it collapsed, and haven't seen him since."

"So what now?"

"We declare him MIA."

The suit of armour froze momentarily, before his helmet lowered so that his gaze became fixed on a point on the floor, his swirling thoughts a sharp contrast to his impassive steel shell. He hadn't wanted to believe it before, but now it seemed like there really was a chance that his brother might not be coming back and he didn't know what to do. His heart was screaming at him to go out to the western edge of Amestris to search for him, while his mind rationalised that if he was still alive, Alphonse putting himself at risk when Edward may have already left the town was not a good idea.

"I'll let Hughes know first, then I'll call it properly to Central HQ," Roy's voice interrupted Alphonse's thoughts before the Colonel reached for the phone again. It rang the moment before his hand touched the receiver; he drew his hand back slightly in surprise, before picking it up and answering. "Mustang speaking."

"Put Havoc on!" a familiar voice almost shouted on the other end; Maes Hughes himself.

"What? Why?"

"Just put him on!"

"Havoc, it's for you..." Roy said slowly with a shrug as he handed over the receiver, more than a little wrong-footed by how panicky his friend sounded.

"Yello'?" the Second Lieutenant drawled.

"Bring some civilian clothes and come to Central!"

"Huh? But-"

"I don't care how you get here, but start moving. _NOW_!"

Hughes slammed the phone down, and Havoc stared at it for a moment before putting it down.

"What the hell was that about?" Breda asked.

"No idea," Havoc replied as he snatched up his coat and sprinted from the office. Everyone stared after him with identically clueless expressions, before Roy reached for the phone again and called Hughes back.

"Hello, Major Hughes' office, how may I help you?" one of the department secretaries answered.

"Put Hughes on," Roy snapped slightly.

"Sir, there's a call for you," she called away from the receiver.

"I'll call them back!" the Major's voice sounded in the background.

"Tell him it's Colonel Mustang."

"It's Colonel Mustang, Sir."

Some sounds of muffled movement from the other end, then –

"What is it, Roy?"

"Just what in the hell is going on?"

"Can't explain now, I really have to go!"

"Before you do, we're putting Ed down as MIA."

"What? No, don't!"

"I had a phone call just now-"

"So that's why..."

"What?"

"Never mind. Just whatever you do, don't list him yet!"

The line went dead yet again and Roy sighed, resigning himself to being out of the loop and now two men down. Hughes would only keep information from him if he really didn't have time to explain or if it would be better for him to remain in the dark, but he couldn't help thinking that maybe it was a bit of both this time.

----

Continues in the next chapter, 'cause this seemed like a good place to break it up.


	4. Aftermath part 2

And now for the second part. This sort of changes a little to Havoc and Hughes being a bit parental, but the fireman's still in it (Mustang as a fireman. Amusing or stupid?)

Disclaimer - Since this is a continuation of a chapter, technically I don't need a disclaimer. So nyah!

----

Driving like an absolute maniac without a single pause enabled Havoc to somehow make it to Central late that night; he had been driving solidly for so long that he had managed to convince himself that somewhere along the road he had entered a time portal that had given him a few extra hours, although all those thoughts vanished the second he saw Hughes waiting for him by another car. Killing the engine of his own and locking it the second he was out of it, he jogged over with questions spilling from him well before he reached the Major.

"What's this about? What's so urgent? And why me? There's plenty of other people like me in Central, so-"

"You're the only one he trusts," Hughes replied quietly has he climbed into the driver seat and indicated for Havoc to get in the passenger side. He saw the bemused expression on his companion's face as he climbed in and sighed. "We'll drive in shifts; try and get some sleep first, I'll tell you about it when we switch."

The Lieutenant frowned slightly as he tried to settle in the unreasonably uncomfortable seat; where were they going that would require shift-driving? What was _he_ in particular needed for? And by who? He didn't notice his eyes growing heavier and drifting shut while he tried to work it out.

Hughes glanced over at him several minutes later, a troubled frown appearing on his features as he recalled what Roy had admitted happening a few weeks prior; would Havoc even be able to get close enough to assess the damage, or would he be kept at a distance by a scared defence?

Around five hours after he had drifted off, Havoc stirred and sat up properly, wincing as he worked out the slight crick in his neck; he really hated being in a car on a shift... Hughes was quietly patient as he drove, not in a particular hurry to explain but knowing it had to be done before they got there. Might as well give him time to process everything...

"So what's this about, then?" the tall blonde asked when Hughes didn't volunteer the information. The Major paused for a moment – he had had five hours to think how to explain it, but he still had no idea exactly what to say.

"Earlier I got quite an interesting phone call," he began slowly in a tone that told Havoc to not interrupt. "It was Ed-"

"Is he okay?" the Lieutenant cut in, blatantly ignoring the warning tone but quieting down when Hughes lifted his hand to shush him.

"Apparently not, that's why you're here. He tried calling Roy's office but it was engaged so ended up calling me instead, said he'd only just managed to make it to the next town over-"

"But they're close – an hour's walk at the most, aren't they?"

"Exactly. It took two weeks for him to get that far, he can't be in a very good condition right now – I asked him if he was okay, and he actually admitted that he wasn't. You know as well as I do he always tries to hide when he's hurt, so he's got to be pretty bad if he told me he wasn't 100%."

"Did Mustang tell you what happened a few weeks back?" Havoc asked quietly, noting the car pull up in a lay-by as the Major stopped it and sat back in his seat.

"About the drugging?" Hughes waited for the Lieutenant to nod a confirmation before he continued. "Yeah, but regardless of that if he's in that sort of state then it's better that it's someone he knows checking him over. Besides, it's not like you don't know your stuff when it comes to injuries; you've got the training and the experience, so don't try and pull that one on me."

"Wasn't going to," the blonde lied before swiftly changing the topic. "Are we switching now?"

"Unless you want me to crash 'cause I'm tired..."

"I'd rather stay alive, if it's all the same to you."

Havoc grinned lightly as they changed sides, letting it drop as soon as the Major's eyes closed; the kid really would have to be hurt badly if what he had been told was to be believed... And he tried to get through to Mustang first – would he actually have told them he was injured if the Colonel had picked up, or would he have pretended he was fine like he usually did? If he had lied to them, would he still have called Hughes and told him, or would he have tried to make it back by himself? It wasn't like he'd readily volunteered the information; he'd only admitted it after the Major asked, and even then he only said that he wasn't okay, didn't actually say that he was wounded. He was either too proud or too scared, it was hard to tell which.

Realising he had drifted a little close to the edge of the road, Havoc pulled his attention back to the car and focussed on driving for the time being; he could figure out the answers he wanted once they reached the boy, it would only be a couple of days until they got there.

_But maybe a couple of days too late_... a voice in the back of his mind whispered. He shook his head roughly to get rid of the thought, putting his foot down slightly as he concentrated on the road.

---

It seemed to take forever before they reached the small inn, stopping to change into their civilian clothes to avoid the risk of being attacked for being military; they were far too close to Kipp Town for their liking, even though reports said the fighting hadn't spread outside of the boundaries. The woman in the front desk glanced up as they entered, noting their purposeful strides and the slight worry in their eyes.

"You here for the boy?" she asked, not waiting for them to explain their reason for being there.

"So we got it right, then," Hughes sighed, relieved, before remembering that the young alchemist had probably been unable to pay. "How much do we owe you for the room?"

"No charge," the woman answered, a smile tinged with sadness crossing her features as she led the way and began to explain. "He practically dragged himself into town; it was obvious he needed somewhere to stay for a while but he hasn't let anyone go anywhere near him so far. He's definitely hurt though, he was limping and trying not to use one of his arms. Third door on the left."

"Thank you," Hughes smiled as the woman left them to it. Almost hesitantly they approached the door, Havoc lagging behind more because he was unsure of what Edward's reaction towards him would be. The Major knocked once and called quietly, "Ed, it's us."

"Door's open," came the faint, muffled reply. As the door swung open with a creak they saw the young blonde lying face-down on the bed, gingerly pushing himself up with his automail arm; Havoc remembered the innkeeper's words about his injuries and realised it was his real arm that he was trying not to use, not the automail like he had presumed. Edward slowly sat up on the side of the bed as Havoc moved over to his left side, noting the ill-tied bandage that seemed to have blood beginning to soak through and just how slowly the boy was moving around compared to normal. He would put money on there being an injury on Edward's back as well...

"So what the hell happened?" the Lieutenant asked bluntly, sitting on the bed to face the boy's wounded arm and untying the bandage without waiting for permission, trying to lighten the mood as he got to work. "You disappear for weeks, you don't write, you barely call... I'm starting to think maybe you don't love us any more."

"There's still a bullet in there," the boy told him quietly as the bandage fell away, blatantly ignoring the question.

"Couldn't get it out, huh?"

"Didn't want to try."

"I'll go call Roy, fill him in on everything," Hughes interrupted, leaving the room looking more than a little queasy; bullet wounds on dead bodies, he could handle. Bullet wounds on living people? Forget it.

"So what did happen?" Havoc asked again, this time without the cheerful facade. Edward was quiet for a moment, not intending to answer until he remembered what Hawkeye had said before he left; Havoc was offering help when he hadn't even asked for it, he really couldn't afford to push these people away. Even if it meant them knowing things he'd rather they didn't...

"Did you hear about the building?" the boy began cautiously as Havoc cleaned the wound so he could see it better.

"The warehouse? Yeah. Word has it you were inside when it went down."

"Right in the middle of it. My back's bruised to hell and the port on my leg's shot, I had to transmute all the crap that came down off of me just so I could breathe."

"What was it that landed on you?"

"No idea. I blacked out straight after."

_Got to check his head too_, Havoc thought to himself as he gently stretched the wound and grasped the end of the bullet with tweezers. A hiss of pain escaped from the boy as he ducked his head and turned it away, shutting his eyes against the pain and biting his lip to keep himself from crying out.

"Sorry," the Lieutenant muttered as he eased the bullet out, noting how the boy forced his arm to remain relaxed despite the urge to squeeze his fist; he must have known that tensing would make it worse, but even so, Havoc was impressed with his self-control. He grabbed a dressing and pressed it to the bleeding hole in the boy's arm. "Keep the pressure on here," he instructed, placing the young alchemist's right hand on the dressing before grabbing a fresh bandage from the medical kit and winding it tightly around his arm.

"Didn't know you could do basic treatment," Edward remarked idly as the immediate pain began to subside, knowing it was a stupid statement but not really caring as long as it distracted him.

"A lot of us either took it up for basic training or learnt the hard way in Ishbal."

"Which did you do?"

"Trained as a medic for four years," the Lieutenant said with a grin. "Now turn around, I want to check your back."

"But the military doesn't have a medical division..." the boy said slowly as he ducked out of his shirt to reveal a dark bruise covering his whole back.

"Damn, I thought you were exaggerating when you said it was bruised to hell. Your whole freaking back is purple!" Havoc exclaimed, wondering where to start. Check for broken bones? "This is gonna hurt," he added a little too cheerfully, before digging his thumbs either side of the top of the boy's spine and feeling for any unusual movement. The boy swore violently in response, wincing out of his grasp before he could move further down his back.

"What, you think it doesn't hurt enough already? Jeez!"

"It's not my fault you could have broken something."

"Not exactly mine either," Edward shot back, before muttering under his breath, "ass."

A sharp whack to the bruised flesh on his back had the swear words hissing from his mouth again as he turned to glare at the Lieutenant.

"I'm not the one who got himself injured here, y'know, but I am the one who can actually try and sort it out, so cut the language and the attitude. Sit still, too, I can't check it properly if you keep moving around."

Edward bit back his initial response, instead glaring for a moment longer before settling quietly back into his former position; he wasn't stupid, he knew Havoc was basically telling him that he would offer help for as long as the boy cooperated, and after that it would have to be sought, but he did not appreciate the way he had gone about getting that particular message across. Although if he was honest, he probably wouldn't have listened if Havoc had done it any other way...

"You know that was a mistake, right?" the Lieutenant began cautiously. "The drugging thing?" Edward remained silent and unmoving, his back to Havoc. "We wouldn't have done it if we knew, but we didn't. Not even Al knew."

"It's the price you pay for keeping secrets."

The boy's quiet reply stopped Havoc in his tracks, making him pause for a moment to remind himself just how young Edward was.

"Secrets like that shouldn't be kept; not ones that only hurt yourself."

"Only myself, huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Al feels guilty because I'm the only one that remembers it, and he can't do anything to help... Hurting myself is better than hurting him."

"Bullshit," Havoc said plainly, now checking the middle of the boy's back. "You think the fact that you kept something like that from him hurt him _less_ than finding out what was going on? Damn it, Ed, are you stupid or just blind?"

"But-"

"No. You of all people should know he hates the thought that you don't trust him."

"I do!" Edward's protest growled from within him. "But I'm meant to protect him."

"From what? The world?"

"From me."

Again Edward's words stole all arguments from the Lieutenant; what kind of shape must his head be in if he thought like that?

"No offence, but why would someone like Al need protecting from you?" Havoc asked, genuinely curious but trying to lighten the mood, if only a little.

The boy remained silent; not even Alphonse knew how much of a threat he could potentially grow into, and if _anyone_ found out he wouldn't have a chance of restoring him to his body. But Edward had already worked it out – what he would have to do, what he would have to sacrifice, who he would have to become...

Havoc listened to the silence as he tried to work out Edward's thought processes. It was easier than he realised; he had thought the same the moment he had found out about what Edward was trying to do. He didn't know much about alchemy, but the founding principle was simple enough – to gain, equal sacrifice must be made. Sometimes the sacrifice wasn't a solid object, it was relative to the worth it held to the one making it; Edward valued his own morality deeply, but he would put money on the boy giving that up to get what he needed. He had heard the beginnings of it through the office door when the blonde threatened to try and turn the military against the Flame Alchemist; already he was manipulating people, how long would it be before he ended up having to take lives?

"Y'know that's never going to happen, right?" the Lieutenant said easily, now checking Edward's lower back for any serious injuries. "There's a way around everything, you just have to look hard enough."

"A way around everything?" Edward repeated sceptically. "Then how do you explain war?"

"People not looking; negotiations and treaties require thought, war only requires weapons. It applies to you too, you know – I'll bet if you gave up enough, you could bring Al back now. But you don't, you keep looking for another solution because you _know_ there is one out there, one that won't take from other people. You just need to look hard enough, that's all."

"You're optimistic all of a sudden," the boy said quietly, trying to change the subject however slightly.

"Hey, bright sunny day like this, who wouldn't be?" Havoc grinned, deciding to go easy on him and let it drop. "From what I can tell there's no damage apart from the bruising, but you'll still have to take it easy until it's healed. Did you say your leg was hurt too?"

"Yeah, but it's the automail port so Winry's the only one who can fix it."

"We'll call her when we get back to East City. Think you can hold out until then?"

Edward nodded before pulling his top back on and tugging it down over the deep purple marks moments before Hughes cautiously opened the door and poked his head around.

"You done yet?" he asked, still looking a little queasy even as Havoc nodded. "Roy said to 'get your ass back over to East City so I can kick it myself'. I don't think he's very happy with us..."

Edward rolled his eyes and gingerly pushed himself up to stand on his right leg, keeping the weight off the damaged port on his left and wincing as his back cracked several times.

"Eww..." Hughes pulled a face more than a little reminiscent of a child faced with an unwanted food; his daughter was definitely influencing him on a number of levels (or he was still a child at heart. The smart money was on the latter).

"You got everything?" Havoc asked.

"Didn't come here with anything," the boy answered.

"Fair point."

As they made their way out, Edward silently thanked the old woman for giving him a room on the ground floor – there was no way he'd have made the stairs if he had been on the floor above. Hughes let the other two go ahead, staying behind for a moment to give the lady at the desk some money. Or rather, he tried to give her some money.

"No, no, keep it," she insisted, pressing it back into the Major's hand. "It doesn't cost a thing to help another person."

"Can you smell burning?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh no, the pie!" she gasped, running for the kitchen. Hughes smiled softly as he slipped the money onto the desk and followed the other two out.

---

"And did you just leave the kid there or what?" Mustang asked idly as Havoc and Hughes sat themselves down at the main office table.

"Uhh... Maybe..." the Major started, until Alphonse twitched and he grinned good-naturedly. "Just kidding. We dropped him off at the dorms 'cause he's still hurt pretty badly."

"In what way is he 'hurt pretty badly'?"

"Mainly just his back and leg," Havoc cut in before Hughes could panic the suit of armour anymore. "His back's bruised like a bitch so he shouldn't be going anywhere for a while, and the port on his leg got damaged so he can't walk on it for the moment. Winry's already on her way, she'll be here in a day or two to sort it out."

"Don't forget his arm," Hughes added helpfully. The Lieutenant shot him a peeved glance before taking over again.

"Single shot, minimal damage. He didn't actually mention who, but we think one of the soldiers stationed there went for him and managed to land one in his arm. So long as he doesn't push it for a while, he should be fine."

"Basically he's completely out of action for the next few weeks," Roy thought aloud, not needing to ask. He turned his attention to the suit of armour in the corner. "You think you can keep him from doing anything for a while?"

"Yes," the younger Elric nodded as he stood. "Do you mind if I go now?"

"Knock yourself out. No, actually, knock _him _out, that'd be better. Hmm..."

If that impassive metal face could have shown any expression at all, no doubt Alphonse would have been rolling his eyes at the Colonel's comments. He didn't stay to vocalise it though, only bidding a short farewell to the soldiers before leaving the office at a hurried pace.

"I assume you'll want to see him soon, Sir?" Hawkeye asked, her ever-efficient 'office tone' almost masking her relief that Edward's injuries weren't worse. Somehow, though, something slipped through into her voice and a slight smile found its way onto Hughes' features.

"Not before his leg's been sorted out," the Flame Alchemist replied calmly.

"Sir?"

"He can't pretend to be okay if he can't walk properly."

"I'm still not sure I understand, Sir."

"Doesn't matter."

----

See, Mustang had a moment there! Sort of... Anyways, bearing in mind this hasn't been properly proof-read 'cause I'm sleepy and can't be bothered, what did you think of it? The soldiers weren't to OOC, were they?


	5. Repairing the Damage

I'm in a writing mood, but not for coursework, so it's been blown off in favour of this. Yay!

Disclaimer: I'm English, Hiromu Arakawa is Japanese. Do you really think I own FMA?

---

"He's in the courtyard, Sir, but he's not in a very good mood," Alphonse's metallic yet gentle voice echoed out from the suit of armour.

Edward's leg port had been fixed with an operation three weeks ago, yet Mustang had only just ventured over to the dorms to see his volatile subordinate; he knew his temper would be foul after being kept on what was essentially house arrest while he healed, but he must be really bad if Alphonse felt the need to warn him...

"Thank you," the Colonel nodded before going in search of the small blonde. He walked far slower than he needed to on the way, all the while resisting the urge to turn back and avoid him; he had to speak to the boy, and everyone knew it, not just him.

---

"You know, sitting down like that only makes you look shorter and let's face it, you're not exactly tall when standing..."

Edward tensed slightly as he heard his commanding officer's drawl; he really wasn't in the mood to deal with him right now, and had the feeling that one more barbed comment from the man would result in (at the very least) a broken nose and a court martial. No, he really didn't feel like talking to him...

"Can you even hear me down there?"

"Get bent," the boy snapped irritably.

"Hey, don't take your complexes out on me, I'm just calling it like it is. Are you actually going to turn around sometime today, or will I have to hold this entire conversation with the back of your head?"

"To have a conversation, both parties have to be human; you're failing there," Edward answered coldly, still without turning around. _Just go away_...

"Keep talking like that and I'll have grounds for a court martial. Besides, you forget who could have put you down as AWOL but didn't."

"You forget who stopped you doing it. I know you didn't do it 'cause you wanted me to be alive, you did it 'cause Al kept asking you to wait and give me a little longer."

"And you paid him back by letting him think you were dead. Nice move, kid."

That stung. Edward knew the Colonel had seen him flinch at that, but he could care less; that blow was too low, even for Roy. The worst part was, it was true and Edward knew it.

"It wasn't like it was a choice," Edward replied quietly... weakly.

"So it wasn't a choice to not call him when you got to a phone?" Again the boy flinched, but Roy ignored it and carried on. "He was starting to think you really were dead – you _do not_ do that to someone you care about, especially-"

Standing up sharply, Edward started across the courtyard, fully intending to break into a run but stopped by Roy grabbing his arm and forcefully halting him when he ignored his verbal commands.

"You'd think after everything you've put him through you could have at least spared him that-"

Again Roy was cut off, this time by Edward spinning to face him and slamming his left fist into the side of his face. The Colonel stumbled backward a few paces before slowly regaining his composure and orientation; it had been a long time since he had been hit like that...

"Don't_ ever_ assume you know what we've been through!" Edward spat viciously as Roy turned back to face him, a bright red mark already forming across his pale cheekbone as a furious fire raged behind his onyx eyes. "What either of us does or doesn't do is none of your business, so shut the hell up because you have _no right_ to lecture me!"

"As your commanding officer I have every right to lecture you and treat you however I want," Roy growled in response, barely holding himself back from striking the boy in return.

"Tell me again how you got that status," Edward taunted. "Come on, we all know you love that story, you get to be the hero of Ishbal all over again! Think about that, then try and lecture me."

His turn for a low blow; Roy's eyes narrowed as his anger washed over him for a moment.

"You don't know what happened out there."

"Just like you don't know what happened with us. Hell, you don't even know what's going on now, right under your nose!"

"We're two different people, Edward, there's no point comparing us."

"Exactly," the boy growled. "I'm not perfect, but I won't take hundreds of lives on a whim."

In an instant Roy had a spark glove on and had lifted his hand to snap. His fingers had just tightened when a dirt wall sprung up between the two alchemists. A glance to the side revealed Alphonse crouched beside an array, his soulfire gaze flicking between them as he tried to guess who would move first.

"Let it down, Al," Edward snarled from the other side.

"No," the armour answered coolly. "Not until you both calm down."

"Guess it'll be up a long time, then," the boy snapped before turning on his heel and stalking out of the courtyard. Alphonse's makeshift barrier reformed gently into the ground as he departed, leaving just the armour and Roy standing in the open space.

"How long have you been here?" the Flame Alchemist asked quietly after a long silence.

"I heard all of it," Alphonse replied softly.

"So why did you wait until then to step in? Why not before it escalated?"

"Because you deserved it. You of all people should know not to push someone who's about to break, they'll only get closer to the edge."

Without another word, the suit of armour also left the courtyard. Only Roy remained, standing frozen on the spot for a moment before slowly sitting on the steps where Edward had been minutes before, the younger Elric's words ringing in his head.

---

Hawkeye sighed as she reached the brothers' dorms; she knew Roy had come here, but she didn't know if he had stayed to talk to his young subordinate or if he had left after a brief visit and spent the rest of the day avoiding going back to work. Either way, she knew she had to find him before the Fuhrer began his inspections that evening.

The door opened almost instantly when she knocked, Alphonse's steel features peering around the door.

"Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye, good afternoon," he greeted her with his usual warmth, but she could tell he wasn't quite as cheerful as usual for some reason.

"Good afternoon, Alphonse," she smiled in return. "I was wondering if you've seen the Colonel, he hasn't been back to the office since this morning."

"The last time I saw him was a couple of hours ago now, in the courtyard. I don't know whether or not he's still there, but you could try looking."

"Did something happen?"

"It... He... He didn't handle it well with Ed, neither of them did and it ended up getting out of control. Brother ran off somewhere and I left before the Colonel did so I don't know if he stayed or went somewhere. I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, you know what they're both like. But there are office inspections this evening, all military personnel have to be present – you should try and find Edward as soon as you can."

"That's today?" Alphonse asked, a mild dread filling him at the prospect. "Ed in a good mood is bad enough for these things, but he'll still be really angry..."

"He'll need to calm down before he gets anywhere near headquarters," Hawkeye told him uneasily. "Or else the inspection could fail and the team could be re-adjusted and replaced. And if the Colonel's in a bad mood too..."

"I think the Colonel can put up enough of a front to hide it; it's my brother's mood that will be the problem."

"Either way, you should try to get him there. I'll get Colonel Mustang, but you'll have to find Edward, I don't know where to start looking."

"I'll try, but he won't let himself be found if he doesn't want anyone to know where he is."

With a nod of understanding Hawkeye began walking in the direction of the courtyard, leaving Alphonse to go in the opposite direction and start a possibly futile search. She noticed the blue uniform first, before she registered the uncharacteristic pose; Roy was seated on the steps, his elbows on his knees and his hands arched loosely in front of his mouth, a look of distant and uneasy thought on his features. A deep bruise had already settled itself across his right cheek.

"You know the last time we were here," he began as soon as she was within earshot. "I asked if we had broken him?"

"Yes, Sir..." Hawkeye replied slowly.

"I think we did, at least partially. Something Alphonse said to me, and the way he's been acting, makes me think it affected him more than he's letting on."

"With respect, Sir, you can't really do anything about it now."

"I know..." he sighed quietly, turning his gaze towards her. "Inspection time already?"

She nodded as he stood, and together they walked silently out of the courtyard and away from the dorms, the cool breeze failing to distract Roy from his thoughts.

---

They were late for their office's inspection; they took the front steps at a run and had been ready to sprint across the atrium until the secretary at the main desk called out to them.

"Colonel Mustang, the Fuhrer's been held up, he's running about ten minutes late on inspections."

"Thank you, Evelyn," he paused for a moment to flash a flirtatious smirk in her direction, making a mental note to bring her flowers the next day before Hawkeye dragged him by the wrist towards the staircase.

Together they jogged up to the third floor, pausing momentarily outside the door to regain their composure. A nod from the Lieutenant and Roy slowly opened the door to reveal the Fuhrer standing inside talking jovially to Roy's men about his son. The Colonel paused as he looked at the soldiers; on the end, next to Havoc, stood a stony-faced Edward Elric, his eyes fixed upon the wall in front of him. Havoc's eyes flickered towards Roy for a moment, registering the bruise on his cheek before returning to the wall.

"Ah, Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Hawkeye, just in time," the Fuhrer turned to them and smiled.

"We apologise, Sir, there was some business we had to attend to outside of headquarters," Roy replied stiffly, praying he didn't ask about-

"Wherever did that bruise come from? It looks nasty."

Roy swallowed hard as he tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't partially land him in trouble.

"That's my fault, Sir," Havoc cut in swiftly, kicking Edward's ankle as he opened his mouth to protest. "With the weather being as good as it has been, I thought I could try some light sparring with Colonel Mustang to keep our skills up, but I got around his guard when I didn't think I would so ended up hitting him a bit hard."

"Ah, it seems you're a little out of practise, Colonel," Bradley smiled. "Maybe you should spar with Fullmetal one day, I'm sure he would put you through your paces."

"With pleasure," the boy murmured, quiet enough for the Fuhrer to miss but loud enough for Havoc to boot him in the ankle again and shoot him a warning glance.

"Maybe another time, when we're not so busy," Roy said evasively.

"Yes, I forgot the number of missions Fullmetal volunteers himself for... Why none lately, though?"

"Automail ports needed readjusting," the boy said smoothly; it was half true, so the omission of why they needed readjusting was easier to hide.

"Will you be functioning normally again soon?"

"Yes, Sir," he answered stiffly; _functioning normally_... Made him sound like a machine...

"Fuhrer Bradley, Sir, I heard you had been held up before inspections?" Roy cut in swiftly.

"Indeed I was," the older man replied. "Well, your offices seem in order so I'll leave you to carry on with your work."

With a nod he left the room, closing the thick wooden door behind him.

"Havoc, why did you do that?" Roy asked curiously, sitting down behind a desk as the others squashed together on the sofas, Edward somewhat uneasily. "You could have been sent through disciplinary."

"Same reason he came here," the Lieutenant answered, nodding towards the boy who looked away with a frown. "The team would've been broken up otherwise."

"Al's gonna be worried," Edward said quietly by way of explanation, before standing sharply and leaving the office.

"Sir, cut him some slack," Havoc continued the instant the boy had closed the door behind him, lighting a cigarette as he spoke. "He's got it harder than any of us, and he still steps up when he has to. Does it without a word, too, which is more than any of us has ever done."

"His attitude lately-" Roy began, but he was cut off by Havoc.

"His attitude is better than it should be; the kid hates you right now, but he still came 'cause we needed him to be here."

"But-"

"Nobody asked him to, either, he just did it; don't push him any more than he's pushing himself. And I'm officially off the clock now, so I'll see you all in the morning."

With a light grin and a wave to the others he grabbed his jacket and left the room. He glanced to the left as the door slid shut; Edward was standing with his back against the wall, one foot planted flat against it. He'd forgotten the boy sometimes paused to regain his composure...

"So what did you think?" the Lieutenant asked dryly. Edward looked at him with an unreadable expression on his features; a moment of silence passed, before he kicked off from the wall and walked away down the corridor, his back to the soldier.

---

_Why did I pick alchemy as a career choice?_ Roy found himself wondering as he headed towards the library after work three nights later; he needed to find Edward, and he would bet that the boy had buried himself amongst the knowledge of the old books housed there.

Most of the lights had been turned low, if not out completely, but the library never closed; there was always someone working the night shift, even if they were often found sleeping at the desk and not doing their job at all.

He wandered aimlessly down the aisles of books for at least ten minutes before he spotted one of the study rooms with an almost-closed door, a light shining through the small opening. As quietly as possible, he eased the door open; Edward's back was to him, and he apparently hadn't heard as he briefly rubbed his eyes before letting his real fingers drag through his bangs, leaning low on the desk as he fought off the weariness that held him.

Roy coughed lightly to get his attention; Edward spun sharply in his seat to eye him warily, unable to hide the slight flinch as his aching eyes caught the lamplight. He was pale – the Colonel could see him trying to blink the tiredness away – but apart from that, he seemed healthy. Good...

"Think you're up for a mission?" the raven-haired alchemist asked.

"Where to?" Edward sighed in defeat, knowing he couldn't refuse when he had been caught searching for information.

"Livet, about 40 minutes north of Central. Some caves collapsed and need repairing; they need it done quickly, so an alchemist is being sent."

"Why not Armstrong?"

"Thought you might like this one," Roy shrugged, handing the files to Edward. "The caves collapsed under some unusual circumstances."

"What kind of unusual circumstances?" he asked instantly, but not eagerly – he still wasn't sure if he trusted the Colonel or not.

"Red vapours were seen emitting from it; someone went in to check it out, next thing there's a cave-in. Locals have seen a red fluid dripping down the hills since, and the wildlife nearby has all but died out. Read the file, let me know by noon tomorrow if you're feeling up to it."

Without another word he left the room, pulling the door to behind him as Edward sat motionless in the chair.

'_Thought you might like this one'... Did he request it for me even though Armstrong's already in Central? Or did I just get assigned it anyway, and he said it like he made it happen? Sounds like it could be a lead, though – too much to be a coincidence..._

As he flicked through the official documents, he became certain of one thing: it was definitely someone trying to create a Stone.

---

11:59 am

The clock seemed to be taunting Roy as he watched the seconds tick down; he had to let his superiors know if Edward was taking the mission by 12:30, meaning _he_ had to know by 12. But apparently he still –

"Hey, Chief," he heard Havoc's voice greet someone in the outer office. Edward had arrived, then. Finally...

"So when do I leave?" the boy asked as he pushed open the door to Roy's office.

"Really, Fullmetal, a little courtesy once in a while when you're in military buildings would make things a lot easier for you," Roy smirked. "And have you never heard of an alarm clock? Ten more seconds and it would have been someone else's mission."

"Can't do courtesy for someone I don't like," Edward shot back, but with no real venom in it. "And as for the nearly being late, it's fun making you sweat."

"Or maybe you just couldn't reach an alarm clock?"

"No, I'd just keep imaging it was your face, then the military would have to keep paying for new ones where they'd been smashed. So really, I'm doing you a favour."

"Perhaps you need to look up the definition of a favour in the dictionary, Edward. Assuming it's not too big for you..."

"Should I use yours, or one that has words instead of pictures?"

A low whistle and some sniggers sounded from the outer office; they really needed to soundproof the military buildings...

"Touché, kid. You leave tomorrow, by the way, doesn't matter what time."

"Hell, Boss, did you actually just admit defeat then?" Havoc asked, his head poking around the door.

"Shut up," Roy answered with a snap of his fingers, the Lieutenant hastily stepping back.

"Grow up, Sir," Hawkeye said smoothly as she walked in with a stack of documents for Roy to sign.

"See ya!" he heard called back to the other officers as Edward left the main office; he hadn't even noticed him leave the inner one...

"He's good..." Roy thought aloud.

"How so, Sir?" Hawkeye asked.

"Doesn't matter."

---

Why do all of these seem to end that way? Hrmm... Ah well. Tell me what you thought?


	6. Testing the Waters

I've no idea where this one came from, but for the purposes of it, yes, they now have airships...

Any suggestions for more of these would be welcome - I'm running very, very low on ideas for this series but I like it and want to keep writing it, so if you've got any you're not using send 'em over here and I'll have a play around with them, see what I can come up with. Heck, even a promt would do. Anything, really.

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom.

---

Roy sighed in frustration as his eyes scanned the airship for signs of... Well, anything, really. He didn't like being unaware of what was happening, especially when it involved his soldiers; he would be up there with them, except flame alchemy on a helium-filled airship wasn't the best of ideas. Fuery was in the boat with him because of severe vertigo, Havoc had stayed behind because of an injury, and six other soldiers were in the boat in diving gear in case anything went into the water that shouldn't be there. They had already gone in once because Fuery dropped his binoculars into the water, and none of them wanted to go back in.

The Colonel's eyes locked onto an electric blue circle on the bottom of the airship, which disappeared to reveal a hole; immediately someone fell through, their white shoes marking them out as not being part of the military. They managed to hang on, though, and hauled themselves back up after a moment.

"You think the kid made that hole?" Havoc asked, sounding a little disinterested as he lit another cigarette.

"He's the only alchemist up there," Roy answered distantly, back to scanning for any more signs of what was happening.

Without warning, a window of the airship smashed as a person was thrown through, the blue uniform immediately alerting the soldiers on the boat.

"That's one of ours..." Fuery said softly as they fell; they didn't make any move to adjust how they were falling, suggesting they were already unconscious. The soldiers in the diving suits were about to go into the water until Roy stopped them.

"Don't – too dangerous until they hit the water."

"Colonel!" Fuery shouted, snapping Roy's attention back to the air above them – another figure was now falling as well, this one in a much more controlled way but far faster than the first.

"What the hell?"

"They dove out!"

"How come they're falling so fast?" one of the divers – Shin, from Scientific Research – asked suddenly, as the distance between the two falling forms shrank. "A higher terminal velocity would mean they were smaller but with proportionately more weight-"

"Shit, it's Ed!" Havoc realised suddenly as he saw the glint of steel catching sunlight.

The second figure reached the first as the distance closed completely; Roy could have sworn he saw the flash of alchemy, but his view was obscured as they hit the water with an almighty splash less that four metres from the boat. There was utter silence for a moment.

"Go!" Roy shouted at the divers. Still distracted by what they had just seen, none of them moved and they instead stared blankly at him. "What are you waiting for? Move it!"

Finally they registered what he was saying, and they threw themselves into the water. Roy, Havoc and Fuery leant over the edges of the boat and stared down into the dark waters below. Above them, the remaining soldiers on the airship lowered the rope ladder and began scrambling down, each of them trying to see into the water. Their task to subdue the enemy was now complete, but now two of them had fallen and their sense of duty told them to search for them from above and help in any way they could.

One of the divers emerged from the water, shaking his head hopelessly at Roy.

"Look deeper," the Colonel said instantly. "Didn't you see how fast they hit the water? Edward has Automail limbs, too – he'll go down faster, look deeper for him."

As they waited silently, all Roy could think of to say were curse words.

He kept them to himself as he gazed into the water.

---

Edward stared around in a daze; he knew he had hit the water hard, but he didn't know how hard. Maybe if he knew the height the airship was at, he could work out the approximate speed based on the time it had taken him to hit the water. How long had it taken again? Ten seconds or less? He was sure it was less...

Without thinking, he drew in a breath; water flooded into his lungs, choking him, making him cough and inhale more. His instincts began screaming at him to get to the surface, but the convulsions from the coughing prevented him trying to swim upwards. He could feel himself sinking deeper but he was powerless to stop it.

Panic set in as his vision tunnelled; a sharp, icy feeling writhing in his gut and his heart. There was no way out – he was going to die.

But he couldn't – what would Alphonse do without him? He had to survive, his brother was depending on him.

His eyes slid shut as the coughing stopped.

There was no way out. He was going to die.

---

After an agonising few minutes, two of the divers emerged holding a limp form between them; Roy and Havoc took an arm each and hauled them onto the boat, rolling them onto their back as they did so.

Lieutenant Hawkeye's face looked oddly peaceful.

"She's not breathing," Havoc said instantly. "We need to do CPR."

"I haven't done it in years," Roy replied softly, moving so that Havoc was at a better angle. "You're the only one with proper medical training."

"It's a basic technique!"

"I took a short course on emergency medicine last year; I can do CPR, if I remember right," Fuery volunteered. Havoc nodded silently as he worked.

"You'll need to take over here when they find Ed," he instructed, taking a quick glance across the water.

"_If_ they find Ed..."

"_When_ they find him."

His statement left no room for argument, even though Fuery had logic on his side; Havoc was relying on blind faith, even though he himself had warned Edward against it only a few weeks before.

A gasp and choking cough were released by Riza; immediately Havoc rolled her into the recovery position and gestured for the Master Sergeant to take his place.

"Make sure you support her head," he said firmly as they switched. "Keep checking her breathing too."

Fuery nodded silently as he sat by the female Lieutenant; if she stopped breathing, he knew he would panic and forget everything, probably doing more harm than good. He _did not_ want that...

"Haven't they found Ed yet?" Breda asked, reaching the bottom of the ladder and dropping down into the boat. Silence was his answer; neither the soldiers in the boat nor those climbing off the ladder said a word, leaving an eerie silence to echo across the water.

As Hawkeye's breathing evened out, she began to stir; her eyes fluttered briefly before being forced open. She began to push herself up, but Fuery put a hand on her shoulder to stop her – she brushed it off and sat up properly, her gaze flicking from person to person, scanning up and down the ladder before resting on Roy's unusually concerned features.

"Where is Edward?" she asked cautiously.

"He went after you," Breda told her quietly after a moment.

Her eyes locked onto his face, searching for any hint he was lying; she found none, and began scanning the water for any sign of the boy even though she knew it was futile to look from the boat.

Another minute passed by in tense silence, each second that they waited seeming like an hour.

A flurry of movement upset the calm waters as a diver emerged holding a figure with one of his arms while swimming towards the boat with the other. The moment he was within reach, Roy and Havoc grabbed him and bodily dragged the boy on board, landing him on his back and not really caring about the impact at that point. The Lieutenant knelt next to him, pressing two fingers to his neck while leaning his ear close to the boy's mouth. All was still and silent on the boat, until Havoc swore and began CPR.

"What?" Roy demanded immediately.

"In can't feel a pulse," came the reply, Havoc not even pausing to look up as he spoke. Roy swore softly, and Hawkeye's own heart skipped a beat – this was her fault...

Every so often, Havoc would pause to press his fingers to Edward's neck, each time praying for a change but finding none. He didn't even begin to consider how long he had been doing it for, until the diver who had commented on the speed of Edward's fall spoke up.

"Don't people usually stop resuscitation after a while?" he asked.

"Are you planning on trying to make me?" Havoc countered, glancing up to meet the diver's gaze with his own challenging stare.

"You're going to have to give up at some point, there's no way he's coming round now."

"Yeah he will," the Lieutenant stated calmly before Roy interrupted.

"Havoc, don't stop unless I tell you, that's an order," he said, the firmness in his voice warning others that no argument could be made.

"Yes, Sir."

"And you," he rounded on the diver. "Shut up."

"Sir," the diver murmured, moving slightly further away from the boat to avoid Roy's firing range when he didn't get the outcome he wanted. Shin knew he wasn't going to regain consciousness, it was basic medical knowledge – why couldn't they see it?

"Come on, wake up you little shit," Roy muttered as he knelt by the boy's head; he looked over at Havoc, who was again pressing his fingers to the blonde's neck. "Any change?"

"No response at all," Havoc answered, frustration evident in his voice.

"Don't give up."

"Sir... Even if he does wake up, there's likely to be severe damage from oxygen deprivation..."

"Just keep going."

Another minute later, and doubt had firmly settled itself into each of the soldiers' minds; one of Hawkeye's hands was clutching the side of the boat so tightly the knuckles had turned white; Fuery, Breda, Falman and the rest were looking on hopelessly as Havoc continued to pump the boy's chest, pausing every so often to force air into his lungs. Roy was beginning to consider maybe telling Havoc to-

Edward's eyes flashed open as he gasped for breath, visibly panicking when he chocked on the water filling his lungs. Instinctively he rolled over and leant over the side of the boat, coughing up the water and spitting it back into the sea. He gradually became aware of someone slamming a hand against his back and telling him not to suppress any coughs, to let them all out; he sorely wanted to tell them that's what he was doing, but he was a little busy choking.

Eventually they began to subside, leaving him the gap of a few breaths between coughs.

"How do you feel?" Havoc asked, his hand now resting on the young alchemist's back. Said young alchemist shot him a look which said, quite plainly, 'How the hell do you _think_ I feel?' before dissolving into another fit of coughs, still leaning over the side of the boat.

One by one the soldiers began to relax, Roy ordering the divers to follow as Falman got the boat moving. Edward moved slightly so he was on his knees, automail arm resting on the side of the boat with his forehead leaning against the cool metal. His flesh hand clutched at his chest as he winced in pain.

"You okay?" Havoc asked.

"Chest hurts," the boy gasped.

"Yeah, well... It would do..."

The rest of the journey was made in silence, with everyone trying to be covert about watching the boy; those behind him openly stared, whereas those to the sides settled for stealing tiny glances whenever he was preoccupied with coughing. Only Havoc chose not to hide it, instead watching Edward closely to keep an eye on his condition, reaching over every so often to check his pulse. To everyone's surprise, Edward didn't complain; he just stayed kneeling, head on his arm, fighting not to cry out as his heart beat a piercing rhythm and air tore into his lungs.

By the time they reached shore he had begun shaking and barely had enough energy to hold his own weight; Havoc positioned himself beside the boy, supporting him as they walked to the military cars. Blankets were taken from all of them and handed to Hawkeye and Edward as they were bundled into the back of the first car. Fuery was handed the keys with instructions to get them to the hospital quickly as Havoc climbed into the passenger seat in case anything happened on the journey; he doubted it would – they both seemed stable enough – but he had to be there just in case. Fuery wouldn't cope if either deteriorated, and wouldn't be able to take care of them and still keep driving to the hospital.

Both remained stable throughout the journey, however by the time they reached the hospital, neither had the strength to move and Edward's tremors had become more violent. Hawkeye watched the boy as they walked, the young blonde again being supported by Havoc while Fuery helped her along. She noticed the boy shaking and struggling to focus and felt oddly guilty; yes, she had let herself get in that situation, but she had never even considered one of the others would put their own life at risk for hers, especially Edward – his sole purpose of being there was he had to accept missions from Roy in order to freely research how to get his brother's body back.

After they got in, it was another five minutes before Roy arrived to meet his unharmed subordinates in the waiting room.

"How are they?" he asked, settling on one of the cheap red plastic chairs.

"No idea," Havoc answered honestly, handing his superior a cup of bitter, lukewarm coffee. Roy pulled a face as he took a drink, staring at it for a moment before setting it on the floor beneath the chair.

"Has anyone called Alphonse yet?"

"Yeah, he'll be here in a minute."

After the suit of armour arrived, it was over an hour before they heard anything about either of the injured soldiers. Alphonse had spent that hour sitting cross-legged on the floor, wringing his leather gauntlets with worry but remaining silent unless someone spoke to him. Roy could practically feel the concern rolling off him.

"Excuse me, Colonel Mustang?" a pretty young nurse approached cautiously; she was the kind of girl that, under normal circumstances, Roy would have wasted no time in trying to charm. Not this time, however. "I have news about your subordinates."

"How are they?" he asked, rising from his seat in a mix of courtesy and slight concern.

"They both seem stable enough, Sir, but we'd like to keep them in overnight for observation and run tests tomorrow."

"Will they be okay?"

"I can't guarantee anything, but it does look hopeful."

"Can we see them?"

"I'm afraid not; we'd like them to get all the rest they can before we run the tests so that exhaustion doesn't affect any results."

The nursing staff remained true to the pretty one's word, not allowing Roy or Alphonse anywhere near Edward and Hawkeye's rooms until early evening the next day. Alphonse went straight to his brother's bedside and waited patiently while the older boy dressed, pausing occasionally to cough harshly. It seemed to be almost the exact moment Edward finished that Roy knocked and asked to speak to the blonde in private; after Alphonse left he didn't actually say anything, choosing instead to stay by the door and just watch the boy critically.

"Was there actually a reason you came in here?" Edward snapped eventually, his voice hoarse and grating.

"Yes," Roy answered calmly, keeping his own voice low and quiet, sounding almost dangerous. "I wanted to ask you if you're stupid."

"What?"

"Well it's either that or suicidal, so which is it?"

Edward remained silent, avoiding meeting Roy's gaze; he frowned as he registered the anger coming off the man.

"You nearly killed yourself!" the Colonel continued, his onyx eyes narrowing slightly. "You could have seriously hurt Hawkeye-"

"It would have killed her," Edward interrupted softly, still not meeting his gaze. Roy faltered for a moment.

"What?"

"The surface tension of the water; from that height, falling that way, the force of impact would have killed her. I had to use alchemy to break the surface tension just before she hit."

"Even so, that was too big a risk to take. You of all people should be aware of the consequences of it going wrong."

"I had to be that close to do it just before she hit!" Edward argued angrily, finally raising his fiery golden eyes to meet Roy's deep black ones. His voice scratched painfully against his throat, but he ignored it.

"And if you'd have been too far away? Would you have saved her or yourself? I doubt even you could have done both," Roy continued harshly. Edward looked away again. "And even though that part worked, you both still nearly died anyway – technically you did, Havoc only just managed to pull you back from it!"

"But we're both here, both fine, so what does it matter now?"

"You still don't get it, do you?"

"Apparently not."

"You didn't even consider what could go wrong, did you? You just jumped straight out without a second thought. Instinct isn't everything, you know; sometimes you need to stop and think things through."

"_There wasn't time_!"

"You still should have processed the risk was too high!"

"So you'd have let her die, would you?"

Roy was silenced by the challenge in Edward's stare. He took a moment to compose himself and balled his fists tightly to keep himself from landing a satisfying punch on the boy's cheek.

"If you do get yourself killed next time, I'm not clearing up after you," Roy said, his voice once again dropping to its low and quiet tone. He stared at the fuming boy for a moment before turning and opening the door.

"I wouldn't ask you to, you damn bastard," Edward hissed vehemently.

"I shouldn't think Alphonse would thank you for getting yourself killed either," the Colonel added icily as he left the room.

There was a moment of cold stillness in the room before Alphonse cautiously re-entered.

"Brother?" he asked gently. "What was that about?"

Edward could only stare at him silently before looking away guiltily.

"Nothing. Just the Colonel being an asshole again," he lied half-heartedly, rising slowly from the bed and moving past his younger sibling.

Alphonse sighed softly to himself before following him out.

---

Okay, I'll admit - I actually don't like this chapter very much. I like the end bit, but... I dunno, I just can't seem to like the rest of it. Anyways, let me know if you think any different. And again, if you have any ideas for little snips of scenes for parental!RoyEd a la the rest of this fic or even just prompts, please tell me. Doooo itttt....


	7. A Forced Discussion

Finally! I've been trying to do this for ages! XD Many thanks to the anonymous reviewer with - _ - as their name for the idea. The situation's an itty bit cliche, but this is what happens when _I_ trap Ed and Mustang in a cave with no escape... It's a little dialogue-heavy, but shh! I like it!

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

---

Harsh coughs filled the air as the alchemists began to stir; Roy sat up gingerly, testing each of his limbs in turn. Several of his fingers on each hand had been broken before, preventing him doing alchemy, but apart from that he was relatively unharmed. A few cuts to his face and body, but nothing serious.

Looking around, he caught sight of the young blonde off to his right – he was kneeling on the floor, pressed against the fallen rocks. Of course he was next to them, he had been under when they started to collapse and only just moved in time to avoid being crushed.

The closer Roy looked from where he sat, the worse the boy's condition seemed to be; he was a sickly pale colour, his eyes were squeezed tightly shut and he was biting down on his lip so hard the skin turned white.

"Edward?" Roy asked cautiously. "You okay?"

There was a pause, before the blonde gave an almost unnoticeable shake of his head.

"What is it?"

"My arm," he answered in a shaky whisper, so quiet Roy almost didn't hear it.

Immediately the Colonel moved over to him, kneeling in front of the boy and gesturing for him to move his head out of the way. His chest tightened as the boy moved; only the top of his arm was visible, before it became covered in fallen rocks. Swearing softly, Roy sat back to think; his fingers were broken, but if he ignored the pain he could still move them...

"If you have any chalk, I can-"

"No," Edward hissed softly. "It could bleed out."

"It's bleeding?"

"I don't know, it's... I can't feel it..."

"Shit... What do you want to do?"

"Wait."

"Edward... No-one knows we're here."

"Al does."

"Top-secret mission and you tell Alphonse?"

"Going into a cave with someone who hates State alchemists, this was bound to happen!" Edward snapped, furious golden eyes opening to meet Roy's dark ones. "_Someone_ had to know where we were!"

He winced suddenly, all the anger vanishing from him in an instant as white-hot pain shot through the top of his arm. There was silence for a minute as Edward gritted his teeth and steadied his breathing.

"What will you do?" Roy asked eventually, sitting back and leaning against the rocks. "If it's too badly damaged, will you get more automail?"

"I don't know," Edward answered softly after a long silence.

"Is it really that bad?"

"Yes. This isn't anything close."

Uneasy quiet descended upon them once again, Edward seeming to calm slightly while Roy tried to figure out an exit route that was quick and wouldn't hurt the younger alchemist, but he came up with nothing. He had to appreciate Edward's sense in telling his brother, though; the Elric boys might have been young, but they looked out for each other and Alphonse especially could be trusted with information – they just needed to wait until the suit of armour realised something was wrong and to tell Riza where they were so she could put a team together to help them.

"How long do you think they'll take?" Roy asked suddenly, sick of the silence.

"I told Al to ask Hawkeye if she'd heard anything if I hadn't got in contact after five hours, and to tell her where we were after six. Don't know how long it's been, though."

"It was only an hour before this collapsed..."

Silence again; Edward moved slightly, raising his right leg so that his foot was on the floor and he could rest his head on his automail knee. He knew he could draw an array and get his arm out of the rocky trap it was stuck in, but after that he didn't have a clue what to do. He didn't even want to think about what his arm was like...

"How much closer are you two to getting the Stone?" Roy broke the silence, noticing the dark expression on the boy's face and knowing it was a bad thing. Edward glanced up, his thoughts leaving him for the moment.

"Not too much," he answered honestly, looking away to avoid the Colonel's gaze. "Every lead we have is either false or a fake stone."

"What have you learnt from the fake ones, then?"

"Nothing we didn't already know. They're dangerous; a true Stone even more so."

"And you're still going after it?"

"I have to," Edward stated plainly, meeting the Colonel's gaze.

"You get by as you are," Roy began evenly; he knew the brothers were hunting it for honest reasons, but Edward had never said why he was so determined. Roy could guess, but he wanted to hear it from the boy. "You could end up worse off if it went wrong."

"I have to try," the boy repeated, irritation plain in his voice.

"So you don't care if you die in the process? That's smart..."

"And what would you do?" Edward asked suddenly, a furious glint appearing in his eyes. "If you caused something like that, would you just let it go? Walk away, act like it never happened?"

"Well that depends," the Colonel said slowly. He knew he was pushing it too far, but his almost morbid determination got in the way of his logic. "On whether I really caused it, or if I just didn't want to admit someone else held the blame as well as myself."

A flame flared behind the boy's golden eyes; Roy was in no doubt that if his arm weren't trapped, the boy would have at the very least punched him by now.

"Don't even think about blaming Alphonse!"

"So he didn't do a thing that night?"

"He only did it because I asked him to!"

"Then he lacks the capacity to say no?"

"That's not what I said!"

"Yes you did; if, as you say, he only did it because you told him to, that must mean he can't say no. So did he take part of his own volition?"

"Stop twisting this around! He did say no, right before we did it, but I talked him into it! It's my fault!"

"If he agreed, how can it be your fault?"

"I swore I'd look after him, and-!"

Edward went silent and dropped his gaze the moment he realised exactly what he had told Roy; he didn't want that bastard knowing...

"You really are an idiot, you know that?" Roy said eventually, humourlessly.

"You're a few years late for that shocking revelation," Edward returned bitterly, still avoiding his superior's gaze. "It's a well-known fact by now."

"Can't deny that was stupid, but we're talking about different things." That got the boy to look at him, at least, even if it was with a mixture of curiosity and distrust. "You like doing this, both of you do, you just won't admit it in case you have to leave it behind."

"Oh yeah, having my arm buried under rocks is a laugh a minute. I just can't get enough..."

"I didn't mean this. The bigger picture, helping out the people you meet; you both get a kick out of it."

"Bullshit."

"No, Edward, _that's_ bullshit – putting a front like that up isn't healthy."

"Gets the job done, though."

It was Roy's turn to fall silent; he couldn't exactly protest its effectiveness when he himself used barriers to protect himself from the world, but he knew the consequences...

"Equivalent exchange, Ed."

"What?"

"Protecting yourself from individual events, what do you think the eventual cost is?"

The boy was quiet; he knew there must be one, and he knew what it would probably be, but as with everything else that disturbed him, he pushed it to the back of his mind and refused to think about it. Yet now Roy was forcing him to, and he wasn't sure he could handle it being spoken aloud...

"Have you ever pulled a gun on yourself?" Roy asked quietly, his eyes so intense they burned their way into Edward's core. "Held a knife to your wrist? Stood on the edge of a building and wished you had the balls to step out? Because that's the cost, and sooner or later it'll hit you and when it does it'll hit hard. It doesn't make you stronger – far from it, you become weaker because when it hits you have no clue how to deal with it; that's when you break completely, and stop wishing you could step out and just do it. But that only brings more loss, and takes us right back to our original dilemma of people not being honest with themselves. So you see how dangerous it is?"

"And what about you?" the blonde responded softly, a challenging tone to his voice. "Have you ever pulled a gun on yourself? Have you ever been through even half the stuff I have?"

Roy stared at him incredulously for a moment before rolling his eyes and standing up, walking a few paces away so his back was to the boy, golden eyes boring into him as he moved.

"I don't have time for this..."

"No. At the moment you've got about three hours before they even start looking – so did you ever want to jump? Ever want to cut and run?"

"Edward..." Roy warned quietly, his back still to the boy; his warning only served to make the blonde more determined.

"C'mon, Roy – it's not healthy to put up a front! Hiding away from events has a cost, remember?"

"Shut up, Edward..."

"Why? Scared of looking weak?"

Without warning, Roy turned and ignored the pain flaring in his hands as he snapped his fingers; his teeth were gritted as his hand fell back down to hang by his side. Edward had only just managed to duck his head enough to avoid the flames, feeling them brush over the back of his neck as pain screamed through his trapped arm. The heat as the fire hit the rocks seared the boy's neck and burnt the air from his lungs, choking him as he gasped at the pain.

The heat took several minutes to fade; as Edward knelt inches from it, he momentarily considered breaking his arm free of the rocks just to escape the prickly burning sensation running over his skin. His eyes were fixed on a point on the floor, hidden by his bangs as he bowed his head and bit his lip to distract himself; Roy had turned away again, his expression as stony as the rock wall in front of him.

"That was great," the boy hissed, sarcasm dripping from his lips. "Very balanced, you obviously practise what you preach."

"Drop it."

"No. 'Different rules for different people' doesn't work; if you get to push me, I get to push you. Equivalent exchange."

"That has limits, and you've exceeded them," Roy answered harshly, turning to face the boy and resisting the urge to ball his hands into tight fists and mess his fingers up even more.

"Or maybe I just want to step out," Edward met the Colonel's gaze unflinchingly through the curtain of blonde bangs shading his eyes. "Perhaps put a knife to my wrist while I'm at it."

Roy's dark eyes narrowed slightly; those words shouldn't be spoken by someone so young, especially when said as a challenge. He wanted to be told, but Roy wasn't sure he should know; the boy's principles ran deep, and could lead him into trouble if he acted rashly. But hadn't he earned the right to know what happened? Roy knew all about him, after all – it was only equivalent exchange...

"Are you aware how the war in Ishbal started?" he sighed eventually, sitting down against the wall; his eyes were looking at the rock opposite him, but he wasn't seeing it.

"A soldier shot a kid, right?" Edward asked quietly.

"That's how the story goes – only I don't believe it."

"What?"

"Things escalated literally over night, and there were bodies seen before war broke out properly; something happened that night, but no-one dares challenge the story about the soldier to find out what."

"You think the military caused the war? What for?"

"I don't know," Roy admitted. "Maybe I'm reading too far into it, but the commands we received didn't come from a military trying to halt the violence either."

"What kind of commands?"

"Leave no-one alive, bring the city down, don't ask questions, direct murders of bystanders... _That's_ what leads people to hold guns to their own heads, Edward – more than a few fired them, too. If you keep valuing your morality as highly as you do now, it _will_ happen to you despite any promises you make to Alphonse."

"Are you trying to tell me that it's okay to kill someone?" Edward asked incredulously, disbelief written on his features.

"No; I'm telling you that if you keep coming down so hard on yourself about everything, no-one will have to bother trying to kill you, you'll just do it yourself. That extends to taking a life, too; sometimes it's inevitable, so you need to be prepared."

"Did you ever hear about an alchemist named Majhal?" the boy asked quietly, looking back down at the floor again.

"Yeah, I heard what happened to him."

"That was my fault. Even though it was an accident, I caused it. When I was pushed too far by Barry the Chopper, I actually tried to kill him, too. It's too easy to fall into..."

"That's true, but you still feel guilty about it," Roy stated, not bothering to make sure he was right as he tilted his head back against the rocks to stare up at the ceiling. "Too much guilt gets in the way, but you need some to be sure you're still human."

"What about too little?"

"You won't have that problem."

Transmutation light suddenly flared inside the cave, replaced moments later by natural light streaming in from a hole in the ceiling. Shielding his eyes from the harsh sun, Roy looked up and saw Armstrong and Alphonse looking into the hole with other soldiers standing nearby.

"Huh... Guess it's been six hours..."

---

So too cliche or just right? And were they both in character still? I'm a bad judge of my own writing. But yeah... Reviews make Puddy a very happy writer -insert hopeful smile here-


	8. Lucky Escape

I was actually intending to put what happened to Ed's arm at the end of the last chapter, but I sort of forgot. Heh... Please don't hurt me... Anyways, Ed's been magically transported into the hospital for this chapter, he's waiting with Al for his x-rays to come back.

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

---

Edward sat silently on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed, legs crossed beneath him and left arm resting on a small, high table next to the bed while he steadily grew more bored waiting for the doctor. He sighed softly and let his gaze travel around the room, not staring at one spot for more than a few seconds; it would have been more bearable if he could see out of the window to observe the world below, but the nurses had positioned him with his back to the window and he couldn't be bothered moving the small table to the other side of the bed.

He began clenching and unclenching his automail hand, flicking the fingers out hard enough to make grating clicks every time he did it. Alphonse sat silently in the corner, twitching at each flick as he tried to distract himself by watching his brother's right foot make quick circles, first left, then right, then back again as his steel left leg swung back and forth, bouncing off the metal frame of the bed with horribly repetitive ringing clangs. Somehow, he couldn't help wishing Edward had just remained at the complaining stage of boredom...

"Can't he hurry up?"

Oh wait... He had. Alphonse sighed softly to himself as his brother began tapping his steel fingers on the metal frame and clicking his tongue as he fidgeted and looked around the room for something to focus on. Ordinarily, the suit of armour would have been trying to distract and appease the blonde, but he had figured it had been about time Edward learnt how to be patient. That had been a very bad idea; Alphonse was now having to suppress the urge to throttle his brother.

A sharp knock at the door stole both boys' attention, and their heads instantly snapped around to stare at whoever was coming in. The doctor, hair greying around the sides but still dark brown on top, entered and was followed closely by Roy. The Colonel closed the door behind them but didn't move any further into the room.

"You would be Mr. Elric, correct?" the doctor asked, glancing at the file in his hand.

"Ed," the boy corrected.

"Yes, indeed," the doctor pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose as he cleared his throat. "Well, we have your x-rays back; your arm isn't as badly damaged as we thought."

Both brothers seemed to sink slightly in relief – things would be a lot easier, then...

"The primary reason for the numbness wasn't injury; the rocks that landed on your arm put so much pressure on it that it stopped the blood flow almost completely so you lost sensation. This also explains the amount of pain you were in when you were moved, when all the blood rushed back into your arm and feeling became more acute than it would otherwise have been. The pressure on your arm made the bone at the top weaker, so be sure to rest it for a few weeks. Aside from that, there was only one break to your forearm, not multiple breaks across your arm like we originally thought. You've had a lucky escape, Mr. Elric."

"Ed," the boy responded automatically.

"Yes, of course..." the doctor cleared his throat again and pushed his glasses back up as they slipped down once more. "Well, I'll go and get a nurse to put a cast on your arm, then."

"Thank you," Roy said as he opened the door for the doctor; after the older man had left, he paused for a moment before continuing. "Alphonse...?"

"I'll be just outside," the younger Elric nodded, knowing almost by heart exactly how events would unfold; they had been in this situation far too often...

Roy closed the door behind him, but didn't say anything for a moment; Edward stayed quiet, just waiting for Roy to say his piece and go.

"Move quicker next time," the Colonel said shortly. "It's a lot less hassle afterwards."

"I did move quickly," Edward retorted. "That's why you're not still scraping me off the floor."

"You know what I mean; the more you get injured, the more time it's going to take you to get your brother's body back. That may be your main priority, but if you keep putting yourself in so much danger, when the time comes you won't be _able_ to do it."

"It's not like I have a choice most of the time," Edward returned quietly, looking away. "If I don't then we won't find out what we need to."

"That's stupid reasoning."

"Is it? If you were back in Ishbal-"

"Edward..."

"_If you were back in Ishbal_ and Hawkeye got taken hostage, what would you do? I don't think you're optimistic enough to sit around and wait for answers to come to you."

"This isn't about me-"

"It should be. You keep telling me not to do things, to stop putting myself in danger, but if you were in this situation you'd do the exact same thing I am!"

Roy shrugged and turned away, reaching for the door handle.

"Believe what you want, I won't stop you there," he said quietly, pausing to look over his should as he added, "I meant what I said down there, you know – don't ask me about the war again."

"You know I will," Edward replied, watching his superior stop and turn back to face him.

"You seem pretty sure I won't roast you."

"'Cause you didn't this time."

Roy stared at him, perplexed; what the hell was the kid talking about?

"It's called a warning, Edward."

"Bullcrap – you don't do warnings, everyone knows that. If you really didn't want me asking, you wouldn't have missed."

"If you insist," Roy muttered, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. He paused for a moment; maybe the kid did have a point?

Edward knew he was right, but still... He didn't ask about Ishbal again, not until he needed to know more.

---

Yay! Except now I'm once again short on ideas for it. Curses.... As per usual, any suggestions/prompts/whatever are more than welcome.


	9. Fool part 1

Long delay again, I know, but hey - at least I'm keeping with tradition. Again, this is the first of a two-parter. Since this fic's birthday is next month, I think I'll upload the second half then (unless I get a huge idea that would be perfect as a birthday-chapter XD) This half is a little parental!Riza, but next half should be Roy's turn. Should be. Haven't actually written it yet...

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

* * *

"Colonel?" Riza called, pushing open the door to the inner office. Her eyes first glanced at the window behind Roy, before she winced slightly from the light and looked at him. She did it every time she entered the office. "Alphonse is here, Sir."

"Alphonse?" Roy repeated.

"Brother was getting a headache," the armour explained as he stepped inside, bowing slightly as Riza closed the door. "I sent him back to the dorms to get some rest while I came here."

Roy's gaze fixed on the inside of Alphonse's right forearm, before he looked at the side of his body and raised an eyebrow. His expression didn't change as he glanced up at Alphonse's face, nor when he looked back at the papers on his desk, flicking through them until he came to the file Edward had been assigned to work on.

"Really?" he asked absently. "So what happened? You're back a little early to have succeeded."

"We got in there without too much trouble, but beyond that... I don't think they knew the military were investigating, but they were definitely prepared for something."

"How so?"

"We couldn't get past a certain point. They managed to keep us well away from where we needed to be, so we agreed to leave and go back when we had a plan."

"You both agreed to leave?"

"Well... I decided we should. Ed wanted to see it through until he realised how stupid he was being."

"And that's everything, is it?"

"Yes."

"Then where did that blood on your armour come from?"

Roy rested his elbows on the desk and linked his fingers in front of his mouth as he watched Alphonse glance down and his leather gauntlets tighten. The armour stayed still for a moment before straightening up and forcing his fists to relax.

"I don't know."

"Where's Edward?" Roy asked, his eyes narrowing when Alphonse didn't answer. He gave it a moment more before repeating in a lowered voice, "Where is Edward?"

(-)

Edward straddled the chair in the small bathroom, leaning forwards with his right arm on the top of the chair's back, his forehead resting against the cool steel as pain seared through his back. He could feel the warmth of Winry's hands as she pulled out the bullet and stitched the wound, and relaxed at her touch despite the pain. He also felt the occasional drip of a tear onto his back, but Winry always brushed it away before it could trickle down and tickle him. He gazed at the plain white floor tiles through the gaps in the chair's back, looking but not seeing them as his gaze traced the irregular shapes of long-dried water marks. The fingers of his left hand picked at the cheap wood of the chair, easily scraping bits off and flicking them out from beneath his nails onto the floor. Once or twice one landed in the centre of a tile, but he merely stared at it for a moment longer before moving on to the next one.

He was listening to Winry's shaky breathing as she pulled the stitches tighter when noise from outside caught his attention; he could hear voices a moment before the door was thrown open.

"I'm sorry, Brother," Alphonse murmured. Edward lifted his head to look in the small mirror; Roy was standing in the doorway, his eyes narrowed dangerously as he looked back at the blonde.

"What the hell happened?" he asked. "Answer me."

Edward looked at him through the mirror for a moment before closing his eyes and resting his head back down on his metal arm. Roy began to walk towards him, but Winry stood up and placed herself in his way.

"Please get out," she said quietly. She didn't look at him as she spoke, instead keeping her eyes on his military-issue boots. He tried to move around her, but she kept moving to block him.

"Miss Rockbell, I-"

"Please leave. Now."

This time she did look at him, glaring and almost daring him to force her out of the way. Roy looked at her, then down to where Edward was sitting, his thumb picking a fragment of loose wood from the side of the chair.

"Fine. But I want him in my office tomorrow, one p.m. No excuses."

He left the dorm swiftly, not slamming the door behind him but not shutting it particularly gently either. Winry sighed and flopped back down into her chair, waiting until her breathing had calmed again before she resumed work on Edward's stitches.

"I'm sorry, Brother..." Alphonse murmured.

"Whatever."

"I really didn't-"

"Just leave it."

(-)

Edward stood in front of the heavy oak door, staring down at the brass handle but making no move to grab it. There were scratches on the door, and marks from alchemy; in the bottom corner there was a splintered bullet hole that the repairs had missed. He found his thoughts locked onto that hole as he stared at the pale shards of unstained wood poking out from the small cavity. _It must have happened years ago, and in all this time no-one's noticed it's there_... Shaking his head and taking a deep breath, he grasped the handle and pushed the door open, glancing up at the clock in the corner as he entered. 12:57. For once he was early...

He looked around the office and saw Havoc rising from his chair with a grimace; Fuery, Breda and Falman all watched him with pitying looks on their faces, only Hawkeye keeping her expression blank. She opened the door to the inner office for Edward, the boy turning around in surprise when Havoc followed him in. The Second Lieutenant shook his head at Edward, going to stand in front of Roy's desk. Edward followed and stood next to him, glancing between Havoc and Roy; the Colonel was sitting back in his chair, hands folded neatly across his body as he regarded them both coolly.

"Fullmetal," Roy began quietly. Edward looked towards him, but found he had to force himself to look him in the eye. "How many times have you been injured in the past two years?"

"What?"

"How many times have you gone to the hospital?"

"Not many."

"And how many times have you needed to go but haven't?"

Edward swore silently – so that was why Havoc was here...

"You know why the hospitals exist, right?" Roy asked; he obviously didn't want an answer, but Edward found himself nodding anyway. "So you should know that hospital records are kept in order to keep track of any injuries you receive and treatments you're given."

"Yeah."

"Why, then, are you doing your utmost to avoid them?"

Edward kept quiet – he didn't have anything to say.

"I told my subordinates why you were coming in today," the Colonel continued. "And Havoc decided to land himself in trouble too by admitting to giving you treatment outside of the knowledge of both myself and the hospital records. This ends now. Miss Rockbell may be outside of my power, but you two are not. From now on, every injury that requires treatment will be dealt with at the hospital, and if I find out otherwise you will be court-martialled and barred from all research tools the military has control over. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah..."

"What?"

"Yes."

"Havoc, the same goes for you – if I hear about anything like this again, don't bother coming back."

"Yes, Sir," the Lieutenant answered.

Edward winced and couldn't bring himself to look at either of them. Roy stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, standing in front of them almost long enough for Edward to build up enough courage to look directly at him. Almost.

"Havoc, you're suspended for the next week; Fullmetal, you're under house arrest until further notice."

"_What_?"

"You will only leave your dorm to eat and come here, and you will only come here when ordered. Lieutenant Hawkeye will stay with you to make sure you don't go sneaking off anywhere – if you do, there _will_ be a court-martial. Understood?"

The boy remained silent, staring down at the edge of the desk, wishing for all the world that something would happen to erase the last ten minutes.

"Fullmetal?"

"Whatever."

The Colonel strode over to the door and opened it, waiting next to it while Havoc and Edward hesitated before leaving the inner office. The door slammed shut just as Edward stepped into the main office, and he got the feeling Roy had been intending to hit him with it. Hawkeye rose from her seat and followed them out into the corridor, waiting about two feet away from Edward while he and Havoc stood in silence. After a moment Havoc shrugged and walked away, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket as he went.

"Come on, Edward," Hawkeye sighed and turned in the opposite direction. "He wasn't lying about the court-martial, and I won't lie for you."

"Yeah, I know..."

(-)

"Are you serious?" Winry screeched. "You never told him about _any_ of your injuries?"

"What're you making such a fuss for?" Edward sighed, once again sitting on the chair in the bathroom as Winry pulled the dressing off his wound. "It's not like I can change anything now."

"And what if you could?"

"I dunno."

"You don't know? If you could go back, knowing what you do now, you don't know if you'd tell him or not?"

"It's never seemed like a huge deal before, and I still don't get it now."

"Still? Are you serious?"

"I just don't get what the problem is. It's not like it's any of his business."

"He's worried, you idiot!" Winry slapped his left shoulder hard enough to leave a mark and make him jump.

"Like hell, he's just sore something happened without him knowing."

"Yeah, something serious! Who wouldn't be?"

Alphonse sighed as he and Hawkeye listened to them bickering through the bathroom door; it was bad enough when they argued about trivial things, never mind this... He glanced over to the Lieutenant, who waited for a moment before glancing back at him in acknowledgement.

"Alphonse."

"Yes?"

"I suppose you're aware the Colonel didn't exactly think this through?"

"That you can't watch him during the night? Yeah."

"I'll be going back to my apartment for the nights, I need you to watch your brother, make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

"He usually goes walking around the city at night."

"Then stop him. Not only is it a bad idea with his wound still so fresh, it would break Roy's stupid house-arrest conditions."

"So you think the house-arrest is a bad idea?" Alphonse asked in surprise.

"To a degree," the Lieutenant admitted.

"How so?"

"I know your brother isn't exactly the most disciplined of people, but I also know locking him up with no distractions is a very bad idea. Plus I'm pretty sure he's already beating himself up for getting Havoc in trouble for this too."

"Havoc got in trouble?"

"Suspended."

"But if you think it's a bad idea, why don't-"

"No. I have my orders, and Roy and Edward both need to learn."

"Need to learn what?"

"You know, you could just go and apologise," Winry said, opening the bathroom door with Edward close behind her.

"And why the hell would I want to do that?" Edward snapped.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because you pretended to be fine when you weren't? Let people think you were okay when you weren't?"

"This isn't just about today, is it?"

"Oh wow, you're perceptive. I'll be back tomorrow to check it again."

"Whatever."

Edward fell back onto his bed as Winry let herself out of the small room; he winced slightly as he landed, but he noted that pressure on the wound hurt far less than moving his back did. Maybe he would stay like this for a while... He clasped his hands behind his head and stared up at the grainy ceiling, jaw clenched as he thought about what Winry had said. He could think everything over if he could just walk around outside, but he knew the Lieutenant would never let him so he just stayed on the bed, trying to think but not getting anywhere. It didn't help that the only place the other two occupants of the room seemed to be interested in was the space that he was occupying. He glared over at Al, who just shrugged in response. This wasn't his idea.

"So I seriously can't leave?" Edward asked eventually. It wasn't that he wanted verification; he just would have screamed if the silence lasted any longer. "At all?"

"Only for food and when the Colonel wants one of us in the office," Hawkeye answered. Her voice was level, but her body held the same awkward tension as Edward's.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I've asked Alphonse to keep an eye on you during the night."

"Al!"

"I'm sorry, Brother," Alphonse muttered. "But I don't want you getting in any more trouble than you're already in, and you shouldn't want that either."

"Damn it."

Edward sighed and went back to gazing at the ceiling, tracing outlines of shapes in the plaster. At some point his gaze became fixed on the fan rotating slowly above the table, but he couldn't figure out exactly when that was. He began counting how many rotations in a minute, using that to work out how many in an hour, a day, a week... His head was buzzing with figures by the time the light beneath it switched on and he looked across to see Hawkeye standing with a finger on the switch by the door, her jacket tucked under her arm.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Half past seven," Hawkeye told him after glancing at her watch. "I'll be going back to my apartment for the night, but I expect Alphonse to be completely honest and tell me tomorrow if you try to go anywhere."

"Al..."

"It's your punishment, Ed, suck it up," Alphonse sighed.

"I'll see you both tomorrow," the Lieutenant said over her shoulder as she pulled the door open and walked out. Edward watched her go, waiting until the door was closed and counting to ten before swearing loudly at the ceiling.

(-)

"Ace."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four."

"Five."

"Six-"

Crack.

"Come on, Ed, this isn't fair."

"How is it not fair? You're just sore 'cause you're losing."

"So what if I am? _I'm_ shuffling this time..."

Hawkeye opened the door with one eyebrow already raised, some folders under her arm and a cup of coffee in her hand. Edward and Alphonse both glanced up at her from their seats at the table, Edward sitting with his legs crossed on the chair, his brother opposite him shuffling cards. The Lieutenant stared at them for a nearly a full minute, both boys staring back at her with Alphonse continuing to mix up the cards.

"Xingese snap," he said eventually.

"Okay..." Hawkeye said slowly as she closed the door and pulled the folder from under her arm. "And how exactly does one play Xingese snap?"

"You've never heard of it?" Edward asked.

"No."

"Huh... Breda taught us. You know normal snap?"

"No, Edward. I do not know how to play normal snap. I have never even seen a playing card before today." Both boys stared at her in disbelief. "I'm joking."

Right," Edward grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head while Alphonse readied the cards.

"Do you want to join in?" he asked.

"I think I'll just watch," the Lieutenant smiled, sitting in the third seat at the table and setting the cup in front of her and the folder on the window ledge.

"It's basically the same as normal snap, only you count through them as you lay them down. Ace, two, three, four, right up to king and then you start again."

"And if the card you lay down is the same value as the one you say, you snap," Edward continued. "Last person to put their hand down has to take the cards."

"You keep playing until one person has all the cards."

"I think I understand it," Hawkeye said.

"We'll show you."

Alphonse dealt the cards between himself and Edward quickly, both sweeping them up into tidy piles once he was done. The blonde pulled the first card and laid it down.

"Ace."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four."

"Five."

"Six."

"Seven."

"Eight."

"Nine."

"Ten."

"Jack."

"Queen."

"King."

"Ace."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four-"

Crack.

Edward's automail hand slammed down onto the cards, Alphonse's gauntlet landing on top of it. With a grin Edward wriggled his hand out, watching as his brother pulled the cards into his pile.

"See? Al lost, so he has to take the cards."

The pace of the game was fast, Alphonse gaining all of the cards in only a few minutes. As he sighed and began shuffling again, Hawkeye glanced at the folder she had brought, then back at the table.

"Deal me in."

(-)

The next few days passed in much the same way, but the Lieutenant noticed Edward getting twitchier the more time went by; on the fourth day he couldn't sit still at all, his fingers and feet constantly bouncing and moving, tapping and scratching, anything he could do to stop himself from trying to go anywhere.

She arrived early on the fifth day to find the soldiers in the rooms either side of Edward's standing in a doorway by the building entrance gossiping in hushed voices. If she recalled correctly, they were off-duty today. Didn't they have anywhere better to be?

"...Did you hear the girl when she..."

Riza frowned as she walked, and stopped completely when she got near the room; the door was open, and there was a smudge of blood on the wall opposite. As she watched, Alphonse came around the corner with a bucket of water and a scrubbing brush.

"Morning, Lieutenant," he sighed as he began cleaning the red stain off.

"What happened?"

"Ed happened."

"How do you mean?" Riza asked, spotting a cloth floating in the bucket and grabbing it, wringing it out before wiping off the patches of blood that spread when the brush went over them.

"You know how twitchy he's been lately?"

"Yes."

"He snapped just less than an hour ago, tried everything to get out. Ended up punching a hole in the floorboards."

"_What_?"

"That's where this is from. I had to drag him out with me to call Winry, 'cause he would've run if I'd left him."

"He used his _left_ hand?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure Winry's still picking splinters out."

Riza stopped wiping the wall to turn and look at him.

"Bearing in mind the reason he's in this situation in the first place, you should have taken him to the hospital," she said.

"No."

"Really?"

"When he gets like this, the only people who can hold him back are me and Winry. They'd have kept us away at the hospital, and he'd have been gone before they even wrote his name down."

"I understand you being able to hold him back, but Winry?"

"He won't dare do anything against her in case he hurts her, especially if he uses his automail. Even now he can't completely control the strength of it, especially when he loses it like this. The grip can break bones."

"I never knew that..."

"Watch anyone with automail; if they wind up play-fighting or arm-wrestling or something, they'll keep the automail away as much as possible. If Ed spars with anyone other than me, he keeps his right arm behind his back and won't kick with his left leg."

"Oh. I thought he was just showing off or something."

"That too. The rest of this isn't coming off, is it?"

"Doesn't look like it."

They stared at the faint red patch in silence until Alphonse sighed and pulled some chalk out from his armour. He sketched a quick array on the wall and pressed his hand to it, pulling paint from the rest of the wall over to cover the stain. If she looked from a distance, Riza could see a faint trace of a pinkish colour, but it wasn't strong enough for anyone to notice. She hoped.

"I'll be back in a minute," Alphonse murmured, scooping up the discarded brush and cloth, tossing them into the bucket and carrying the bucket off around the corner.

Riza hesitated for a moment, then walked into the room behind her, stopping almost as soon as she crossed the threshold. Playing cards were scattered throughout the room, and Riza was in no doubt that if Edward didn't have his suitcase stashed away under the bed, the contents of that would be everywhere too. One of the bedposts had fractured, a ring of rough splinters marring the light wood, and two feet in front of her was a hole across two floorboards, odd spots of blood decorating the surrounding boards. From the look of it, Edward had hit the join between two floorboards – the point of most resistance. She looked to her left and saw no-one had bothered closing the bathroom door; Edward was straddling the chair again, but this time sitting further back and pressing his head against the top, automail arm hanging down by his side. His right leg was bouncing up and down, twitching and shaking, but his entire left side was perfectly still; his forearm was resting on a small table full of cotton balls – some clean, some red – and a bowl of bloodied water. His hand was grazed and cut, blood pearling on the raw flesh, a large chunk of torn skin pulled back and sitting near his wrist, already drying and turning like parchment.

Winry was rummaging through the cabinet below the sink, standing upright and turning back to Edward with a pair of small surgical scissors in her hand. She paused for a moment and stared at his back.

"You managed to open your wound again."

The boy didn't reply; the only indication he gave that he had heard her was a slight twitch of his head. Winry sighed and readied the scissors. She glanced through the doorway into the room and saw Riza watching, nodding once before pulling the loose flap of skin up and cutting through it.

Riza shut her eyes and turned away, breathing deeply for a moment before opening them again and walking around the hole in the floor. As she went, she bent down to pick all the cards off the floor; a drop of blood obscured the Jack of Spades' face perfectly.

The ones with blood on she put to one side on the table, but the rest she gathered into a pile and sat at the table with. Alphonse came back just as she sat down, and she watched as he drew arrays on the floor and bedpost, reforming the wood and making it look almost exactly as before. Almost. There were marks from alchemy left, but one had to look at them with a discerning eye to notice.

Riza began sorting the cards into suits, and the suits into numerical order. Ace. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Jack. Queen. King. Ace. Two. Three...

The edges of the cards were soft and worn, the corners separating into weak fluffy layers. They were going brown around the edges, and were all bent and warped, the design a pale leftover of what it had been and barely visible towards the sides anymore. One or two of them had cheat-marks along the top, which she assumed Alphonse didn't know about. She picked the lone Joker from the table and held it up.

"Where's the other one?"

"What?" Alphonse asked.

"The other one. Normally there are two in a pack."

"I don't know. Probably lost or something. Does it matter?"

"No. Just curious."

They sat in silence for at least another hour, listening to Winry moving about; when she was still, Riza could hear the steady beating of Edward's foot on the floor. After a while Winry began speaking, but it was quiet enough that they couldn't make out any words. She was silent again after a few minutes. Riza stood and walked over to the bathroom door; Winry was sitting with her arms around Edward, the boy leaning into her and resting his head on her shoulder. They separated after a moment and Winry looked at him closely, sighing when he couldn't meet her gaze.

"Miss Rockbell," Riza said quietly; Winry turned to look at her. "I'll be going over to Roy's office to talk to him about this, I'd suggest you bring Edward along."

"Okay. When are you going?"

"As soon as you're ready."

(-)

Winry sat in one of the office's hard wooden chairs, one of her hands resting on Edward's steel right arm as he sat next to her with his feet up on the chair and his arms wrapped around his legs. Alphonse sat on the floor on his other side, and the other soldiers all appeared to be focusing on their paperwork but none of their pens moved. They could hear Roy and Riza's voices from within the inner office, and were all trying desperately to hear what they were saying without risking being caught out. They could make out Roy speaking; occasionally they would hear Riza attempt to interrupt, but Roy would keep talking over her.

"Colonel!" the Lieutenant almost shouted. The soldiers all jumped, and Roy was finally silenced. "Look, I know..." they heard clearly enough before she calmed down again and became quieter and quicker with her argument; then it became another jumble of sounds.

Every so often one of the soldiers would glance over at Edward; he seemed to ignore it, but Winry would glare back at them until they looked away again. Alphonse seemed completely lost in thought.

Another five minutes and Riza finished speaking; there was a moment's pause before Roy replied, and another moment after that the door opened, both of them coming into the main office and watching Edward for a moment. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"Fine," he said. "You get what you requested, but _only_ that."

"Thank you, Sir," Riza nodded.

Roy turned and went back into his office while Riza gestured for Edward, Alphonse and Winry to follow her out of the office, nodding a quick goodbye to the other soldiers.

* * *

Second half should be up in just over a month (on the 20th, if I recall correctly)


	10. Fool part 2

Oh dear... I'm never making an "I'll definitely update within this timescale" promise ever again. Do bear with me, I am sorry. I ask your forgiveness with this chapter - the (very) long-awaited second part of "Fool".

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

* * *

"Are you sure this is okay?" Winry asked. Riza didn't look away from the boys as she answered.

"I managed to talk the Colonel into it."

A loud clanging rang across the training ground as Edward landed a powerful blow with his right arm. Alphonse didn't move from the force at all, but a sizeable dent was now visible on the left side of his chest plate. Light brown dust rose around their feet as they sparred, Edward keeping his brother very much on the defensive. He kept forcing Alphonse to move backwards, until he went to attack with his left hand. Alphonse caught it in his leather gauntlet and saw the blond wince and pull it back – blood and serum began seeping through the bandages almost at once. The younger alchemist took several hasty steps backwards.

"Ed, your hand-"

"Isn't going anywhere," Edward snapped, moving to attack again. Alphonse kept blocking and moving away, shifting around so Edward's left hand didn't make contact with him again.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Winry asked.

"He needs to wear himself out, he has too much energy," Riza said.

"Yeah, but his hand..."

Riza turned to look at her. "Look, you know as well as I do that if he doesn't wear himself out he's likely to do something similar again. Roy's determined to make sure he learns his lesson, but even he can see it's stupid to keep him completely locked up."

Winry nodded and tapped her toes against one of the fence posts. A shard of wood splintered away from the rest, and she kept pushing it until it came away completely and fell onto the dust with the white-painted edge facing upwards.

The steady tapping and clanging of their combat halted abruptly, and the two women looked up to see Edward paused with his right fist in the dent he had made in Alphonse's armour not five minutes before. His head was down, and he appeared to be breathing very slowly and deeply for a moment before pulling back to clasp his hands together and remove the dent. He murmured something too quiet for them to hear, and Alphonse shook his head. Edward stayed there a moment more before walking back over to Winry and Riza, keeping his head down and being followed closely by his brother.

Once they were past the fence Winry rested a hand on Edward's left forearm; he didn't seem to react, but she felt him press his arm back against her. She left them before they reached the dorm, going instead back to her hotel so that she could ring her grandmother to explain why she wouldn't be home as soon as she thought.

(-)

Riza waited until they had both settled – Edward onto the bed staring up at the ceiling fan, Alphonse on the floor – before she explained the new arrangements. Every other day Edward would be allowed to spar against Alphonse to wear himself out, and on the way back they could stop by the library to pick up books, provided they were in there for no more than half an hour.

"He wants you in his office tomorrow, though," Riza added. Edward nodded – he hadn't looked at anyone or spoken to anyone other than Alphonse since the morning, and Riza couldn't see him getting much better before his meeting with the Colonel.

Alphonse stood and went into the small bathroom – he came out with one of the aging towels that never left the dorms, one of the corners now wet. He wiped the coarse yellow fabric across the bloodied cards, watching not to just smudge the larger spots. The Jack of Spade's face took longer to clean off than the rest. Adding them to the ordered piles Riza had made earlier, he picked up the lone Joker. He hadn't thought about it earlier, but he really didn't know where the second one was – he always made sure Edward counted all of the cards back into the packet whenever they finished playing with them, especially when they played them on the trains.

"You should go and eat," Riza said into the silence. Edward shook his head, still staring up at the ceiling. "It'll do you good." Again, no reply. She had been about to say something else when he closed his eyes and turned his face to the wall, and she realised he simply couldn't face eating anything just then. "I need to run a few errands, and there's no point in me coming back after just to leave again. I expect you to eat when you feel up to it."

"I'll make sure he does," Alphonse said when Edward didn't respond.

"I'll bring Winry round in the morning to change your dressings, then we'll be heading to HQ."

She stood by the door, watching the blond boy for a moment before tugging on the brass handle and leaving.

(-)

Riza returned with Winry at 10:30 the next morning; Edward looked like he hadn't moved since the Lieutenant left, even though Alphonse assured her that he had eaten. Not much, but he had eaten. He didn't speak either, until Winry managed to coax a few words from him as she changed his dressings – even then it was barely loud enough to be called a murmur.

Winry stayed by Edward's side, her hand on his automail arm, until he had to go into Roy's office; Riza's grip on her shoulder was the only reason she hadn't followed him in. She sat just outside the door with Alphonse, listening to the conversation within despite being unable to make out most of the words. It couldn't really be called a conversation, she thought; she could only hear Roy's voice. He kept pausing, presumably to give Edward an opportunity to reply, but she didn't hear him take it.

The door was only closed for fifteen minutes before Roy opened it and released the boy. Winry stood and stepped back – Edward was angry. He got mad and irritated often, but he rarely got _angry_ and it always scared her whenever he did. It seemed to unnerve Roy as well, as she saw him send a warning glance across to Riza.

Winry went to hold Edward's automail arm again, then moved to his left instead and linked arms with him. She could feel the tendons in his arm rising as he tensed, and they grew even tighter when she ran her hand down his arm and cupped his fist lightly. Prying his fingers apart, she entwined her own fingers with his and squeezed his hand. He closed his eyes for a moment before squeezing hers back. She smiled over at the Lieutenant and walked with Edward to the door, Alphonse following close behind.

They were almost at the stairs before Riza left the office and caught up with them.

When they were back at the dorm, Edward sat on the bed with his back pressed against the wall and Winry sat next to him, her hand still clasped around his. Riza felt almost like she was intruding as she watched them, Edward staring off to the side and occasionally squeezing Winry's hand while she leant her head on his shoulder, so she settled for looking out of the window instead. Alphonse had gone to the library and said he would be quick about it but still returned a good half-hour after the others. He asked if Edward wanted to spar, but the blond shook his head without looking at his brother.

They sat in silence for hours until it grew dark and Riza went to leave.

"Miss Rockbell?"

"Can I stay for a bit? I'll be fine walking back."

Riza was about to voice her concerns until Alphonse stood and gently ushered her through the door; she would have been surprised enough at that, but then he followed her out and shut it behind them.

"Alphonse, what-"

The armour walked down the corridor and gestured for her to follow. He didn't explain anything until they were outside the building.

"She needs to get him to talk, and that won't happen if we're there." He didn't look at her while he spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"Ed needs to talk out what's getting to him, but he won't talk to me and there's no chance of him talking about it while you're there. No offence."

"I thought you two were close?" Hawkeye asked as they walked down the orange-lit street.

"We are – I mean, I can read him like a book and I know everything about him, even how he's feeling right now, but he usually won't talk unless he has to."

"But he'll talk to Winry?"

"Yeah. I know what problems he has and why because I can see them, but Winry's the one he'll tell them to."

A leaf fell from the tree in front of them and spiralled down onto the path; they walked past it and towards the south side of the city, across the river.

"So you know why he hasn't been himself lately? Even I can tell it has more to it than just being locked up for a few days."

"Yeah."

They could hear the river sloshing against the banks over the sounds of the city winding down for the night; soft conversation and the clinking of cutlery floated over from a nearby restaurant, and a few cars hummed down the streets. The orange street lamps reflected in the water, and Alphonse stopped for a moment to stare down at the water.

"Are you going to head back?"

"In a while. It'll probably take her a while to get him talking, I don't want to get back too soon."

"I'll be back in the morning."

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

Alphonse let his thoughts get swept away by the river, losing himself in the ripples until he realised he had been standing there for two hours.

When he arrived back at the dorm Edward and Winry were asleep, wrapped up in each other's limbs and breathing in each other's breath. He couldn't see a way of getting the blanket out from under them without waking the blond pair up, so he pulled Edward's red coat from the back of the chair and draped it over them as best he could before settling in the corner to wait for the morning.

(-)

When Riza returned in the morning Alphonse was outside waiting for her.

"I'm sorry to have to ask this, but could you please wait here for a while?"

"Why?"

"I'll explain when I get back. I'm sorry."

With that he dashed inside and was back within two minutes.

"He didn't leave last night, did he?"

"No," Alphonse said, then hesitated for a moment. "But Winry didn't either. It's not what you're thinking, nothing happened, I just got back lat night and they were asleep together but if Ed knows anyone other than me or Winry saw him like that then he'll get really paranoid and he won't sleep like that again even though he hasn't slept that well in ages and he really needs to sleep well these next few days and-"

"Slow down, Alphonse."

"I'm sorry."

"Why these next few days?"

"What?"

"You said he needs to sleep well these next few days, why?"

"Oh. It's nothing."

"No it isn't."

There was silence for a moment before Alphonse said quietly, "Please don't make me talk about it."

Riza nodded and looked off towards the river – she couldn't see it from where she was, but she knew it was there and it gave her somewhere to look other than at the obviously uncomfortable suit of armour. She tried to count the time in her head and see how long they had been out there, but by the time she got to three minutes she was too curious.

"Forgive me for asking, but why would he be so concerned with people seeing him asleep next to Winry? Everyone already knows how they feel about each other."

"He's too proud. He doesn't want anybody to see how much he needs her."

"Oh."

They stood still for at least another minute before Alphonse muttered "Should be okay now" and led Riza inside. There was still the slight pink patch on the wall outside the room, but everything else seemed normal; off-duty soldiers had their doors open and were wandering in and out searching for conversation, and a pair had settled on the floor between their rooms to play cards. Alphonse opened the door to their room a crack and peered in, shielding the interior from Riza's view until he had checked.

Once he opened the door fully and let Riza in, the first thing she noticed was the bed – the covers were still made but messy, obviously slept on instead of under. Winry was unwinding the bandage around Edward's hand, the old dressing from the wound in his back already changed, crumpled and bloody in the bin. He was sitting upright and watching her this time, and Riza could see he appreciated how gentle she was being.

"Good morning," the Lieutenant said.

Edward glanced up and looked away again, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

"Morning, Miss Riza," Winry replied over her shoulder as she reached for the cotton wool.

"How's your hand today?"

Edward shrugged and muttered, "It's alright."

Before she could ask any more questions there was a knock at the door. Alphonse pulled it open to reveal a soldier in his civvies saluting with one hand while attempting to tuck in his shirt with the other.

"At ease," Riza said. "What is it?"

"There was a call on the main phone, Colonel Mustang wants to see Fullmetal."

"Did he say what time?"

"No, Sir, but he didn't sound in the mood to be kept waiting."

"Okay, thank you," she said as he saluted. "And relax, you're supposed to be off-duty."

"Yes, Sir."

After he walked away she closed the door and turned back to the bathroom doorway.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah," Winry said. "This shouldn't take too much longer."

(-)

They left the dorm not long after, and were making their way to the office with varying speeds – Riza and Alphonse walked at a normal pace, and Winry hung back while Edward dragged his feet. When they entered the main office the Colonel was gathering files from Breda's desk as the others hung up their jackets. He motioned for Edward to follow him into the inner office and closed the door behind them.

"So, are you actually going to use your words today?" he asked as he sat down. "Because you can't act like that forever."

"What do you want to know?" Edward asked quietly, unable to muster the venom he intended. He remained standing.

"Well for starters, you never explained why you flipped the other day. The Lieutenant's given her interpretation, but apparently she didn't actually see it."

"Why don't you just ask Al?"

"I'd rather hear it from you," Roy said. Edward didn't answer. "You're aware most people aren't psychic, right? If you want people to know what you're thinking, you do have to actually tell them."

"And what if I don't want them to know?"

"That's your problem – as far as most of us here are concerned, it's need-to-know."

"And you don't need to know."

"I disagree. See, with Havoc on suspension until next week I'm already one man down. You got yourself injured again and you can't take any of the field missions, so you could help sorting paperwork. Paperwork which, I might add, has piled up because Hawkeye is stuck watching you and can't keep up with it. Then I hear that instead of doing something productive, you decide to freak out and punch through a floor, hurting yourself even more in the process, and-"

"What's the date today?"

"What?"

"The date."

"Third of October. Then Hawkeye has to... Oh."

"Yeah."

There was silence for a minute before Roy spoke again.

"It was 8pm, wasn't it?"

"8:30. Same time she died the year before."

"Same time you burnt your house the year after?"

Edward nodded without looking at him. There was a small burn hole in the rug by the leg of the desk that he stared at instead, tracing the jagged outline with his eyes.

"You can go," Roy said eventually. Edward nodded and turned away; there was a bright white corner of card sticking out from the boy's back pocket, stark against the black of his trousers. "Ed... Is that a playing card in your pocket?"

The blonde nodded. Roy looked at it again – there wasn't a number in the corner.

"In the deck to keep players on their toes," he said. "The Joker."

"The Fool," Edward corrected, and opened the door.

As the boy stepped back out into the main office, Riza stood and went to fetch her jacket.

"Lieutenant," Roy called. "No need to watch him anymore."

Riza raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead gathering some paperwork and sitting back down. Winry and Alphonse exchanged glances but kept quiet.

"Fullmetal," Roy said. "If you even think about getting into any sort of trouble within the next month, I will personally beat you into the ground and I will enjoy doing so. Understood?"

Edward nodded and smiled a little as the trio left the office. Breda passed them in the doorway carrying a box of pastries, and looked around the office as he closed the door.

"Did I miss something?"

* * *

Again, I'm sorry for the lateness. Forgive me?


	11. Returning the Favour part 1

Well, this has been a long time coming...

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

* * *

Roy Mustang was sick. He couldn't breathe through his nose at all, he felt like he would throw up if he moved too fast and his head felt like it was full of sand, but all of his sick days had been used up because of hangovers. His last sick day had been taken just over a week ago. He _knew_ he shouldn't have gone out drinking with Havoc, the guy could put it away like no-one else, but with Maes gone… With Maes gone, Roy had little inclination to remain sober. The stack of papers on his desk was still almost six inches high; since the morning he had only managed to sign a handful of them, barely managing to focus enough to get the gist of what they were about. Each time he looked at a new one, the lines would blur together and a spot directly above his left eye would sting until he sat with his eyes closed for ten minutes.

There was a sharp knock on the door to the inner office a moment before Hawkeye walked in with a stack of papers almost a foot high. Roy squinted at her, his fingers massaging his temples. She raised her eyebrow as she walked over to the desk and placed the new pile of papers on top of the old one. Roy shut his eyes until he heard them shuffling and looked up to see that she had picked them up again, along with over half of the original stack, and was heading for the door. He managed a weak smile.

"Edward is here, Sir."

Roy groaned, his head drooping until it was cradled between his elbows instead of his hands. He heard his Lieutenant close the door and looked up just in time to see the young alchemist flopping down onto the sofa.

"Did you find anything useful in Kestra?" Roy asked, forcing himself to sit up straight.

Edward looked over at him. "Are you sick?"

"Yes."

"Ew." The boy edged along the sofa until he was at the end furthest away from Roy.

"Thank you, Fullmetal. Your concern is as heart-warming as ever, much like your ability to stay on topic."

"Yeah, it was a dead end. How the hell are you even sick? It's summer."

"It may have escaped your notice, but illnesses are not seasonal. So there was nothing at all there?"

"No. It was just some guy who was good at sleight of hand and had figured out a way to turn the light from a reaction red instead of blue. Which I can now do, and it's way cool."

"It's good to see how productive you've been."

"You're one to talk. I saw Hawkeye leaving with a bigger stack of papers than she came in with, you've got all of them signing off everything you're supposed to be doing."

"Speaking of, where's your report?"

Edward stood and went to hand Roy the papers, taking several quick steps backwards and shielding himself with them when Roy began coughing. There was a sharp tickle at the back of Roy's throat that choked him when he tried to take a breath. He ended up leaning down the side of the desk, one hand braced against the smooth mahogany, the other on the arm on his seat as he coughed. His eyes watered and his chest burned as the coughs subsided and he gasped for breath; he wiped his face on the back of his sleeve before straightening up and wincing as the sudden movement made his head throb. Across the room, Edward was watching him with a frown.

"What?" Roy asked, his voice croaking. Edward shook his head. "Just give me the damn report."

He took the papers from the blonde and dismissed him with a wave before setting the report down on the desk and trying to focus on it. To his surprise, Edward didn't slam the door on his way out. Almost as soon as he tried to read the scrawled report, Roy's eyes began to ache and his brain refused to take in any of the words. He sighed, and laid his head down on his arm while he waited for his headache to dissipate.

(-)

"Wake up, Colonel."

Hawkeye's hand was on Roy's shoulder as she shook him awake. His face was flat against the desk, and it took more effort than it should have for him to turn his head to look at her. He felt his skin sticking to the large round pins along the edge of the leather writing mat, and rubbed his face to get rid of the small welts.

"What time is it?"

"Seven p.m., Sir. Time to go home."

"What about that pile of papers?" He pushed himself up to a sitting position with a groan. "There's no way you got it all done on top of your own work."

"We had some help."

Roy frowned as he held his breath to stave off another coughing fit. Once it had passed, he cleared his throat and shook his head to clear it. He ended up feeling dizzy, and the stinging above his left eye returned. He winced and glanced up at his Lieutenant.

"How?"

"Edward decided it was unfair of you to dump all your work on us, so we taught him and Alphonse to forge your signature."

"You did _what_?" The force of the exclamation caused Roy to choke as he fought back coughs once more. He cleared his throat a few times as he stared at Hawkeye through his now-watering eyes.

"Relax, Sir. I told him I'd shoot him if he even tried forging your signature without my permission."

"What about _my_ permission?"

"What about it, Sir?"

Roy grumbled as he rose from his seat, leaning heavily against the mahogany desk as he waited for the light-headedness to leave him. "I can't see myself feeling much better by tomorrow."

"Edward said he'd keep coming in until you were up to doing it yourself. After that, you're on your own again."

The Colonel paused on his way to the door and smiled. "You know there's no way he isn't going to forge my signature for other things, right?"

"Of course he will. But right now he's helping you out, so I suggest you stop complaining and at least pretend to be in charge."

"Don't I always?"

"Pretend to be in charge? I know you do, _Roy_." Hawkeye smirked at him as they left the inner office and she picked up her jacket, feeling in the pocket for the keys. She paused before they left the abandoned main office. "He was worried earlier, you know. Your coughing fit made him all jittery."

"I noticed. I'll have to ask Alphonse why it freaked him out so much."

"Why not ask Edward?"

"Do you really think he'd tell me?"

"You never know."

(-)

The blonde was sitting at the table trying to explain an array to Havoc when Roy saw him a few days later. The Colonel had come out of his office to get some more pens, and gestured for the boy to follow him as he returned to the inner office. As Roy sat down he watched Edward kick the door closed and flop down onto the sofa.

"Are you ever going to stop doing that? You'll break the damn thing one day."

Edward shrugged. Roy pushed the papers in the centre of his desk aside, resting his elbows on the edge of the wood and sitting his chin on his interlinked fingers as he watched the boy. He decided there was no point in drawing the conversation out for longer than was necessary, and he wanted a straight answer, so he resisted pissing Edward off on purpose by teasing him and got right to the point instead.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye tells me you've been helping with the paperwork these past few days."

"Yeah, well, they were swamped."

"Thank you."

Edward stared at him. "You were too much of a lazy ass to do it, and they couldn't keep up with it all. Figured why not, since we didn't have to be anywhere."

"It's a good way to be thinking, I'm sure they all appreciate it."

The boy shifted around on the sofa and avoided looking at Roy, who just watched him for a moment.

"Though I have to ask – why did my coughing freak you out so much?"

Edward froze; Roy could see the boy tensing up and was about to change the subject when he spoke. "When she… Just before she died, she couldn't breathe right. I can't stand people coughing like that ever since."

Roy nodded. "It's like when someone who's nearly died before keeps putting themselves in harm's way." He kept a steady gaze as Edward stared at him then frowned and looked away, shifting about on the sofa.

"You know we can't avoid it," he murmured.

"The least you could do is not throw yourselves in front of it at the first opportunity."

Edward looked away and sighed. Roy sorted through the papers on his desk as he told the boy he could leave. He watched out the corner of his eye as the blonde stood and walked towards the door. There was a moment when Edward hesitated as though he was going to say something more, but he just shook his head and reached for the handle. Roy waited for the door to slam, but Edward pulled it shut with a soft click instead.

Roy raised an eyebrow as he began reading through the form in front of him; maybe the kid would listen to him this time. He smirked to himself. _Like that'll ever happen…_

* * *

For everyone who's come back to this after all this time (if anyone even has...), thank you. I can't promise anything like regular updates, but I'll try and not leave it almost two years again... I have a second part to this chapter planned out, which should be up relatively soon (two weeks, max), but beyond that I have absolutely nothing. If anyone has something they'd like to see (even if it's just a different version of a situation I've already done), please let me know. I really want to keep this series going, but at present I have absolutely no idea what to do beyond the follow-up to this. I have a massive soft spot for parental!RoyEd, so this is my favourite fic to write. Help me keep it alive!

- Puddy


	12. Returning the Favour part 2

Massive author note... I'm sorry...

I've had a couple of people requesting a post-series parental thing, I'm going to be a bit self-promotional (forgive me!) and say there's a fair amount of it in _Concerns_ and there will be more the longer that story goes on. I'm thinking I'll be keeping this one set during the series timeline, and I might do kind of an in-between one eventually where they actually develop their friendship, but for now it's just this and _Concerns_.

And a few people have commented on the harshness of some of their interactions, so I should probably explain my reasoning. In my mind (and like SunshinePony37 said) Ed has a huge distrust for father figures, and I don't think Roy's particularly enthused with finding himself as a father figure to a teenage boy either (especially one as distrusting and anti-authoritarian as Ed) when he's so used to dealing with soldiers/adults. I've always seen them as not wanting that parental relationship dynamic at all, but it happens anyway - and pisses them both off in the process - so neither reacts well to it. But those are just my thoughts on it - I know some people like the "I love you like the son/father I never had" thing, but I just can't see either of them ever being completely comfortable with that thought. I much prefer them to have a mostly "Oh, for fuck's sake..." attitude towards liking each other, but that could just be me... Anyway, on with the story.

At the time when this one is set, I reckon Roy would be an angry/frustrated drunk. Keep that in mind, he's not just being nasty for the sake of it and he's probably usually an okay drunk.

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

* * *

The glass clinked as he set it down on the bar a little too heavily, the ice rattling around as he shook it and gestured for a refill. Roy grumbled when the thin old barman refused to fill it up again, sliding off the stool and fetching his coat from the rack as he went through a mental list of bars nearby that would serve him. The closest was Chris' bar, but there was no way in hell she'd serve him in his current state. He sighed and headed for the door, muttering about how he'd never come back to this bar again.

"I've heard that before." The old man smirked as he wiped some glasses.

Roy's heel clipped the door as he left, making him stumble as he tripped on the frame. He turned and sent a lazy salute to the barman, who returned it with a wave and an eye-roll as the door swung shut behind the Colonel. It was warm outside, the night retaining some of the burning heat the sun had produced earlier. He breathed in the humid air for a minute before turning and heading towards the bar that was closest to Roy's house. As nasty as it was, that bar was convenient for nights like this when he was aiming to not be walking properly at the end. The walk there seemed to take forever, and his mood began to darken – he hadn't yet drunk enough to forget that there was no-one by his side, and the night seemed full of groups of friends.

Up ahead there was one person walking alone, going in the opposite direction to Roy with his head down and his hands in his pockets. Roy recognised him right away, but waited until they were closer before he spoke.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

Edward looked up at the Colonel, his eyes still glazed for a moment before he frowned. "I don't sleep well. You know that."

"So this is what you do at night? Leave your brother and go walking through the city on your own?"

Edward stared at him. "Are you drunk?"

"Yup. And aiming to get worse, so if you don't mind…" Roy tried to sidestep around the boy, but Edward moved to block his path.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the office tomorrow?"

"Probably. I'll let you know."

"You're not going to dump all of your work on Hawkeye, though, right?"

"If she insists on getting it done, who am I to complain?"

Once again he tried to move past Edward, but the boy reached out and grabbed Roy's arm; he was using his automail, and he was squeezing just a little harder than was necessary. Roy tried to shake him off, but Edward's grip was firm.

"Let go, Fullmetal."

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm ordering you to. Now let go."

"Make me."

A swift punch loosened Edward's grip enough for Roy to pull away. He looked over and saw Edward standing with a hand over half of his face – when he took his hand away, there was blood pooling in the newly-formed split in his bottom lip. The boy's eyes were wide and Roy could see him shaking. A light breeze sent the front page of a discarded newspaper skidding along the street between them and bouncing away up the road, never completely coming off the ground.

"You've had worse," Roy sneered.

Edward stared up at him, swiping the blood away again as it began to slide down his chin. His eyes narrowed as his gaze turned into a glare. "Most people have. Especially Hughes – do you think he'd be proud of you for that? Or…" The boy gestured to Roy. "This?"

Roy was on him in seconds, pinning the boy against a wall with his forearm pressed against the teen's throat. "I think he'd want to know why _you_ are trying to order _me_ around." He pressed harder as Edward struggled and tried to pull his arm away.

"You're wrong," Edward choked out.

Another punch sent the blonde stumbling onto his knees in front of Roy. The Colonel dragged him back up by his collar and threw him back against the wall; Edward's head smacked against the bricks and he blinked hard a few times, his eyes watering from the blow.

Roy leaned in close to the boy. "You ever pretend you know more about Hughes than I do, I'll kill you myself." He shoved the blonde back one more time before turning towards the bar.

He didn't even make it two steps before something slammed into the side of his head and sent him reeling. Turning back, he saw Edward standing behind him, his hands screwed into tight balls as he glared at the Colonel. The boy hit him again. Roy snarled and struck back. They ended up brawling for a good ten minutes before Edward seemed to get fed up and slammed Roy's head against a nearby wall. The Colonel staggered in a daze as Edward shoved him and snapped at him to start walking, giving him another rough shove whenever he slowed or went to turn around or down a street Edward didn't want him going down. He didn't catch on to where the boy was pushing him to until he was standing outside his own front door.

"Open it."

"No."

"Open it, or I'll break your fingers and do it myself." The boy was shaking with anger as he stared Roy down.

The keys jangled as Roy pulled them from his pocket and unlocked the door. Edward pushed past him and went straight into the kitchen, opening cupboards until he found the one filled with half-empty bottles. He had already grabbed the keys from Roy and kicked open the back door before Roy realised what he was going to do. Three bottles were already smashed on the patio by the time Roy had fully processed what was going on and what Edward intended to do. He tried to wrestle the next lot of bottles away from Edward, but Roy's earlier drinks were throwing his balance off and the blonde pushed him away without much effort.

"Those are expensive." Roy grabbed for the bottles again, but Edward blocked him and tossed another couple out onto the stone flags.

"You really think I care?"

The cupboard was empty in less than a minute, the strong reek of alcohol drifting into the house on the breeze. Roy tried pinning Edward again, but the boy kneed him hard in the stomach. As he was doubled over and trying to catch his breath, he watched Edward pull the back door shut and lock it again. The boy stayed facing away from Roy with his hand resting against the glass pane, taking long, slow breaths before turning back around. Neither of them had bothered to turn the lights on, so Roy couldn't make out Edward's expression. He heard the blond make a small 'tch' sound before pushing past Roy and walking back towards the front door.

Roy pushed the boy, hard. "You're going to regret that."

Edward turned and shoved him back hard enough to send the Colonel stumbling into the stairs. "Try telling me that in the morning."

After the door slammed closed, it took Roy until he heard the lock clicking before he realised that Edward still had his keys.

"I'm going to kill you, Fullmetal!"

"Fuck you."

He saw the boy's silhouette moving down the steps and along the street, surrounded by the blurry orange of the street lights. Roy swore and kicked the door. The phone was on the table to his left; Hawkeye's number came into his head but even in his drunken state he knew she wouldn't thank him for calling her at this time, especially after he explained why he was calling. No, it would probably be better to wait until the morning. He could use alchemy to open his door, but the trace marks would always be obvious to his eyes. For now, he decided, he would get some sleep and work it out in the morning.

(-)

The red of the sun against his eyelids woke Roy a good twenty minutes before his alarm buzzed. He groaned and rubbed his temples as he rolled over and shut it off; the headache wasn't as bad today, and he didn't feel sick yet. That was a plus, he guessed, though he could feel a bruise on his left temple and his arms ached when he moved them.

After he had showered and dressed he went headed downstairs to start working out a way to get out of the house. He paused halfway down; his keys were lying on the welcome mat, underneath the jammed-open letterbox. He flicked the metal flap closed as he bent to scoop the keys up before heading for the back door. A rainbow of glass was scattered across the patio, the contents already dried up. He sighed and picked the broom up as he went outside, sweeping the worst of it off to the side and making a note to remember to do the rest when he got back.

The drive in to work was quiet – it was much too early for many others to be up and about, so he had time to think while he drove. He hadn't been drunk enough last night to black anything out, and winced as he remembered how many times he hit and shoved the boy. Why had he even let himself get that angry in the first place? He replayed it in his head; he had been in an antagonistic mood since he left the bar, they had spoken about Hawkeye and the others doing Roy's work for him, he had hit the boy, and then… Then what? What had Edward said to set him off so badly? He had stood up, and his lip was bleeding, but what did he say?

"_Do you think he'd be proud of you for that?"_

Hughes.

Roy slowed the car and pulled over. Did the kid know he had been drinking more lately? Did he know why Roy's subordinates had been covering most of his work for a while now? He knew his staff wouldn't say anything to the kid, they were too good at protecting the Colonel's reputation to let something like that slip by. Roy sighed; he would have to ask around and find out how he knew. He scrubbed his face hard with his hands to wake himself up more, and ended up pressing on the bruise. He shook his head as he pulled back out into the road.

(-)

Roy's hand was aching from signing so many papers and actually being productive in his work. He just finished the latest stack and set his pen down to crack his knuckles when the door opened and Hawkeye came in with even more.

"You're actually keeping up today," she said as she set the new batch onto the Colonel's desk. "I'm impressed."

"It probably won't last the week."

"It's better than nothing. Alphonse was just in, by the way."

"Oh?"

"Yes, he came in to see if we needed any help today, but I told him we were fine. Apparently Edward couldn't sleep last night and went for a walk. He came back with bruises and a split lip, but wouldn't tell Al what happened. I can't help but think they have something to do with your bruises." She fixed him with a hard stare, and Roy looked away. "Did you hit him?"

Roy hesitated for a moment, then sighed. "I don't know why."

"He's a _child_."

"I know, it's just-"

Hawkeye raised a hand to silence him. "I'm not the one you need to explain yourself to." She swept the completed papers off his desk and left the inner office without looking back.

Roy groaned as he pulled the new papers towards him. _Way to mess up, Roy…_

(-)

He spent the next couple of days looking for Edward, but the boy was annoyingly good at avoiding people. Alphonse was perfectly genial and chatty each time Roy went to the dorms, so Roy assumed he still didn't know how Edward had acquired his bruises and wasn't just covering for his brother when he said Roy had missed him by a few minutes.

"He's barely been here these past few days, I've pretty much only seen him when he's come in to sleep."

The Colonel sighed and leant against the door frame, picking at the peeling strips of paint and splinters. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Not really. He does this sometimes, I've just sort of stopped worrying. I can tell you where he _isn't_, but that probably won't be much help."

"Try me."

Alphonse shrugged and thought for a moment, tapping the leather gauntlets against his leg as he stared off into space. "Well, when he gets like this he does everything he can to avoid talking to people, so he likely won't be anywhere with many people. Especially people he knows. He avoids familiar faces like the plague when he's in one of these moods, so it's pretty difficult trying to track him down… Why are you looking for him, anyway? Normally you just leave a message and wait for him to turn up at the office."

"I know. But this is something I need to speak to him about sooner rather than later."

"When he comes back I'll let him know you were looking for him, but I don't know what good it'll do."

"That's better than nothing. Thank you, Alphonse." Roy pushed off from the door frame and began walking down the corridor, listing in his head places the kid might go to get away from people. The library would be his normal retreat, but from what Alphonse said that would be the last place Edward would be today…

"Colonel, does this have anything to do with the other night?"

Roy paused. "Which other night?"

"I don't know if Lieutenant Hawkeye told you or not, but a few days ago Ed came in looking like he'd been in a fight and he's been acting funny ever since. I just wondered if you knew anything about it."

"Sort of."

Alphonse nodded. "I'll let him know you stopped by."

(-)

There was a light knock on Roy's door before it cracked open to reveal a large suit of armour standing in the doorway.

"Good morning, Alphonse."

"Morning, Colonel."

"Did you track your brother down?"

"Yes. I managed to get him to come here, but he's still in a mood so he went up onto the roof. He said if you wanted to talk to him that badly, you could go to him."

Roy rolled his eyes as he stood and headed for the door. "Of course he'd say that."

The blonde was sitting sideways on the wall, his back pressed against one of the corner statues. Roy leant against the wall, close to the boy's feet, as he gazed out across Central city and traced patterns across the stone with his fingers. Directly below, in the vehicle base, Roy could see hundreds of identical black cars parked in rows. A few were sectioned off near the maintenance bay; one of them had its wheels lying on the ground next to it, and Roy could just about make out a pair of legs poking out from beneath the car.

When he looked back over at the boy, he saw sharp golden eyes glaring at him.

"So I'm thinking we need to talk about what happened," Roy said.

"If you insist." The boy turned his gaze towards the horizon.

"I'll be honest, I don't know how it escalated the way that it did." He looked over and saw that the blonde's jaw had tightened. "You were sober – enlighten me."

Edward glanced at him before looking back out over Central. "You've been in self-destruct mode since Hughes died."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "And who told you that?"

"You think I don't know what that looks like?"

"Touché."

A breeze swept across the roof; Edward gave his head a sharp shake to get his bangs out of his eyes and Roy brushed his own hair aside with his hand. A leaf spiralled along the floor near Roy's feet; he kicked it away when it landed on his boot.

"You've been in self-destruct, and the others are having to pick up the slack," Edward continued. "I know about all that other shit they do for you, you can't dump all that on them as well. And besides anything else, wasn't Hughes trying to push you so you'd get Fuhrer? That isn't going to happen if you keep getting so wasted that you'd hit a kid and can't do your work the next day."

"That sounds rehearsed."

"I had a few days to think on it. For real, though – if you want to honour Hughes, don't mess up now." Edward turned away from the horizon to look Roy in the eye. "I've heard people saying they actually want you as the next Fuhrer, and I've seen how hard Hawkeye and the rest are working to get you there. Don't blow it now that you actually have a shot."

"You've 'heard people saying' – no-one actually sits around talking about that stuff, especially when our current Fuhrer isn't going away any time soon."

"They do once the idea gets in their heads."

Roy stared at him, not blinking. Edward held his gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you telling me you've been going around putting the idea of me being Fuhrer into people's heads?"

"That's basically what Hughes was doing, right?" Edward slid down from the wall and pointed at Roy. "If you keep messing up and losing focus, I'll tell Hawkeye she needs to kick your ass. Got it?"

"Why not just do it yourself?"

Edward began walking towards the door. "Hawkeye's scarier," he said over his shoulder.

Roy smiled. "Good point."

* * *

I re-watched Brotherhood recently, and Ed refusing to pay Roy back until he becomes Fuhrer and then saying he'll borrow even more money for the next target is a strong contender for my favourite moment. I like the thought of them pushing each other forward and getting royally pissed off when the other stops moving towards their goal, and it seemed like it was Ed's turn to do a bit of the pushing/lecturing. What do you guys think?

- Puddy


	13. Motivation

I might do some more with Ed getting Mustang back (if I get any more ideas for those ones), but I've had this one in my head for a while. It's quite short, though - nothing at all to do with it being from Ed's POV, of course... Definitely not... Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer - I'm not Japanese, and my self-portrait is not a really awesome cow. So no, I'm not Arakawa-sensei, but I do borrow her characters for abuse in non-profit products of boredom such as this.

* * *

Edward's cheekbone was digging in to the hard wooden table, but he didn't move. A sheet of paper was fluttering as he breathed, curling over onto itself then lying back flat on top of the rest. He gazed it at without seeing it, his mind wandering deep within itself and far away from the dingy office he was stuck in. Mustang was speaking from the chair nearby, but Edward didn't bother trying to listen. He knew what it would be about – their last lead had been a bust, and Edward was getting tired of it. They had abandoned that lead over a month ago and still hadn't begun searching for a new one. Less than three hours ago he hadn't cared enough to control a burst of alchemy and had taken down two empty military warehouses and damaged at least seven others in order to get his job done quickly.

"Fullmetal, I'm talking to you."

"I know," the blonde murmured without moving.

"Are you listening?"

"No."

"You just landed us in enough trouble that we have to wait here for the _Generals_ to sort out your mess. They could restrict your travel and research for this."

"I don't care, alright? Just… I don't care." Edward sighed and closed his eyes.

He heard Mustang sigh and move about in this chair, and when he stilled for a few minutes there was no sound apart from their breathing. His thoughts turning inwards again, Edward began thinking about their latest lead. It had looked to be the most likely, but – as with every other one they'd had – it was a fake. Alphonse's forced optimism when he said it would be okay, they'd get it next time, had crushed Edward. How many times had his little brother said that now? The echo from those light words had jarred more than usual, and Edward still hadn't been able to look at the huge suit of armour.

Something sharp bounced off Edward's forehead. He frowned and tried to ignore it until the same sharpness hit his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw two paper planes lying next to him on the table, smiley faces scribbled on both. A moment after he closed his eyes again, another one hit his arm. He opened his eyes and shifted his head so he could see Mustang. The Colonel was folding them quickly but almost silently, building a small arsenal of blank planes beside him. He looked up and – without breaking eye contact – took a plane, drew a smiley face on it and threw it at the boy. It hit Edward's nose, and it wasn't gentle.

"What are you doing?"

"Being bored." He fired another plane, this one just skimming past the boy's ear.

"Aren't those official documents?"

"Probably."

A fifth plane bounced off the top of Edward's head. "Why are you aiming them at me?"

"Do you see anyone else here I could aim at?"

"Whatever," Edward muttered, shaking his head and resting it back down onto his arms.

He couldn't ignore the feeling of the sharp points of the planes hitting him. There was no rhythm to it, so he didn't know when to expect them, and there was no consistency to Mustang's shots. Sometimes it was a direct hit to his face, other times they slid over his hair or the table, and once or twice he only heard them as they went over his head and into the wall. They were all thrown with full force. His fist clenched as he suppressed a growl of irritation.

"Could you stop that?"

"Of course."

_Thwack_.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"I just asked you to stop it."

"No, you asked if I _could_ stop it. Of course I can stop. Doesn't mean I'm going to."

Edward buried his head in his arms as best he could. "I really hate you sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

_Thwack._

"I'm going to hit you so hard…"

"Careful, that's improper conduct."

"So is making paper aeroplanes out of official documents."

"Actually, you'd be surprised."

_Thwack_.

Every muscle in Edward's body was clenched tight, even his toes. His teeth were squeezed together hard enough to hurt and he could feel the urge to yell in frustration building within him. He sat up and looked around at the dozens of planes now covering the table and floor, each of them bearing a scribbled smiley face on the tail. As he looked he felt another bounce off his chest. Mustang was sitting across from him and looking perfectly calm – not even the trace of a smirk was on his features. As he watched the Colonel draw another face and send a plane towards Edward's shoulder, the boy stood slowly and brought his hands together.

(-)

Hawkeye was standing between Alphonse and General Hakuro as the military man signed the last of the papers when there was a flash of electric blue light and a crash from within the interrogation room. She made it to the door first and threw it open. Mustang was on the floor, looking like he had just toppled backwards on his chair, while Edward was standing with his palms pressed down onto the table. Paper planes were spiralling to the ground around the Colonel.

Edward turned to her. "Can we leave now?"

"I think so..."

"Awesome." He breezed past her and knocked his fist against Alphonse's armour as he went. "C'mon, Al, time to stop slacking off."

Riza stared at the Colonel for a moment before going over and offering her hand to help him up. As he took it, Roy was smiling and shaking his head.

"Should I bother asking what this is all about?" Riza adjusted her grip on the Colonel's forearm before starting to pull him up. One of the planes caught her eye and she dropped Roy onto his backside as she took the plane and unfolded it. "Are these military papers?"

"Maybe."

She stared at him for a moment before dropping the plane and heading towards the door, shaking her head as she walked. "You're impossible."

* * *

I like Mustang being an annoying prick - he's just so much fun to write like that... Despite it being short, what did you guys think? I don't know when the next update will be as I don't have many ideas for this, but I'll try and get it up within a month. I'm going to try and start replying to reviews as well now, instead of just reading them and going "Aww, yay..." so give me a kick if I forget, 'kay?

- Puddy


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